I turn 20 IN 3 hours, but I want to leave some parting advice of things I’ve learnt through my teenage years.
As the title says I’m turning 20 years old. I have learned a lot being a teenager, it’s the prime of our lives, it’s where we finish secondary school, get our first part-time job, choose a university, or leave school and get a full-time job. Personally, I have learnt a lot, most of it is from my own experiences but I wish someone else had told me earlier on before I found out for myself. I wouldn’t say I’m leaving this sub forever; I’ll give myself the “old” tag and give advice where I think I could be of help. I would still like to write the bulk of what I’ve learned here to help you. 1. I see a lot of posts about mental health and suicide and you need to know it’s okay not to be okay. Help is out there I love helping people I enjoy it, so please message me if you need help. I to have felt depressed at times, one major thing about me is that I care too much about what people think about me, if someone has a problem I want to know why. If you’re like this too learn to let things roll of your back and ignore them. 2. Stop worrying about relationships at 13 to 16 years old, at the time of writing this I haven’t had a girlfriend yet nor anything even close, nothing lasted more than a night 2 days at the most. We will all find someone at some point. I have thought about losing my virginity to a prostitute, it might fun, and I shouldn’t regret it, but I probably would. 3. Do well in school, one of my biggest regrets is being too busy trying to be the funny popular guy trying to be everyone’s friend, I failed at both having a huge circle of friends and failed school as well. 4. Your school grades don’t define who you are. There are plenty of options for you to take and still do what you want to do but doing as well as you can in school will make doing what you want easier. 5. Get a part time job once you are old enough. Even if it a volunteer job it will give you much needed work experience that will help you eventually get a paid job. Also looks good on a university application. Try and avoid customer service for your first! 6. Save up your money. I understand once you start working you might be tempted to spend your money on new games or PC upgrades I know I was, and that’s ok, it’s nice to treat ourselves every so often, however even putting just £50 aside each month into a savings account will help massively for when you wish to buy a car, pay for university or pay for when you decide to go on holiday with friends after you finish school and help you get a property for when you wish to move out. 7. If you know what to do you could invest your money in stocks, I wish I’d known to do that sooner, if you can invest £100 each month into shares over a few months or years your portfolio will grow and hopefully if you bought the right shares could make some sweet profit. 8. Carrying on from number 3. Use this time while you’re still at home to travel, I live in the UK so after we did A levels (I did engineering Btec) after saving up for about 2 years my friends and I were able to go interrailing (backpacking as the Americans call it!) through Europe for 4 weeks. But only do this with friends that you know you can have fun with. The people I went with didn’t enjoy going out to clubs and getting drunk as much as I do, so I wish I had gone with people I could do that with. 9. if it, it’s too good to be true it usually is 10. your Parents don’t always know best, if you want to follow a career path and your parents don’t agree do it, you will regret it. Thankfully I have parents that support me in whatever I do, but I know people that do. 11. Don’t hang around people who aren’t your friends. Fake people are the worst people, people like this will uses you, manipulate you and lie to you. 12. It is ok to have no friends, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Eventually you will find a small social crowds with whom you will do everything with. 13. As Chris Gardner once said Plan B and C are rubbish, stick to your plan A and you will succeed. 14. People don’t always change; some do I am completely different now than 2 years ago. But some people I was at school with are the same, they are the same dickhead who likes to be funny by putting others down, people like that are stuck in their own little world to scared to realize that they have been left behind due to still being immature. 15. As I said in 11 and 4 if you don’t have fun you will regret it, I promise you, one of the friends I went with told me he regrets not smoking weed in Amsterdam or getting drunk on £1 beers in Budapest and wants to go again to have the experience he didn’t. Life is fun enjoy it while you can. 16. You will probably have that night where you go to a party or a night out in town where you’ll drink too much and get beyond the point of wasted, at the time you’ll feel like shit and regret it but after time for me it was a year it becomes something you and your friends laugh at especially when they tell you all the things you can’t remember. 17. “In game theory, it serves you to be two-faced. Be everyone's friend 'til the moment you're not. Make them love you so much that when they're up against you, their own loyalty will act against their own self-interests”. That's game theory. This was taken from one of my favourite TV series prison break. And I think it perfectly describes social interaction between teenagers and young adults. People will use you and you will use people even when that wasn’t your intention. I’ve been used by people id call my closest friends some did it intentionally some not. 18. Find a hobby there is no such thing as an odd or weird hobby, it allows you to find a common interest with people allowing you to make new friends and meet people, when I turned 18 my hobby was cigars, I’d go to various cigar lounges around London and meet people obviously they were older but the best thing about a cigar is the great conversation that comes with it. That’s just my opinion. 19. You will most likely regret the things you didn’t do not the things you did. Don’t dwell on the past and your previous mistakes focus on the present and the future. If there is someone you fancy, ask them out what’s the worst that will happen? They might say yes worst case they say no. but at least you tried. 20. At a nightclub or festival where your surrounded by people you don’t know, never except a drink from anyone if it wasn’t poured out Infront of you. First time I went clubbing I excepted a drink of champagne from someone I didn’t know in one of London’s busiest clubs I was lucky that it was fine. 21. Never shake someone’s hand sitting down and always grip firmly and make eye contact. 22. In a negation never make the first offer. 23. Take the time to talk to a homeless person, they sometimes have the most interesting stories and lessons to teach. Everyone falls on hard times, someone I spoke to was a veteran and ended up losing his home. 24. Friends come and go 25. Never stop in the pursuit of happiness 26. Loneliness isn’t forever. The most popular person may also feel alone. 27. It might not be a good life, but it’s your life so live it. 28. You can never please everyone, live for yourself and not others I know this is a long post but below I’ve left a summary of all the things I’ve done and experienced being a teenager (2012 – 2021) 11-12: Started secondary school where I made new friends and experienced a whole new environment including no more packed lunches. 12-13: Another year of secondary school, made it into the higher level classes for science and IT, at this point I started to experience bullying for the first time from the same person I was friends with the year before, I also entered my schools coding competition where we competed against the neighbouring school in who could create the best game on scratch. During this year I re-kindled a past friendship with someone from primary school whom I drifted apart from. We remain close to this day. (He won the coding competition with a moon landing game). Joined my school’s car mechanics club too. 13-14 3rd year of school, the bullying started getting worse. Applied for the bronze Duke of Edinburgh award ( for the non-brits here it’s an award scheme where the participant has to take part in volunteering, something physical a skill and finally a hiking expedition) no you don’t get to meet prince philip until you complete the gold award too. Picked my GCSE options. Had my first real crush (this was a fiasco in itself) as well as had my first kiss with someone else (another awful experience). 14-15 Aight cool year 10, time to start my GCSE studies and think about the future. The bullying reached its peak I lost it tried to fight him failed sort of, I got a few punched in before teachers came and pulled us apart, spent the rest of that day and the whole next day internal exclusion room, him too. (was oddly fun ngl), might I add that even the headteacher was aware of the bullying and didn’t care neither did the pastoral manager who when I told her about the first time told me to go away and grow up. Completed my Silver Duke of Edinburgh award. I never completed the last level (gold). 15-16 Woo last year of high school time to sit the exams that so many people think will ruin their lives if they fail. Yes the best you do will allow you to go on and do better things like a good university or doing the A levels you want, but it won’t stop you getting the career you want, you will just need to take a different path to get there like I did. Towards the summer I was getting ready to go on Israel tour my first time away from home for more than a week and to a new country without my family. For those of you that don’t know what Israel tour is, it is when you go to the state of Israel for 3 weeks maybe more depending on the tour organiser and see various sites such as the western wall, dead sea, Masada, ride camels in the desert, live on an army base for a few days as part of a small boot camp type thing (my favourite part) and much, much more. On this though I sadly realised that some people can’t be trusted and will stab you in the back, my “friend” liked the same person I did and instead of saying something to me he just spoke shit about me to her. 16-17 Secondary school, been there done that got the fucking t shirt. After not doing as well as I expected to in my GCSE exams, I had to change my plan slightly. I wanted to go into forensic science to do this I wanted to study level 3 Btec in applied science, but because I had failed 2 of my exams (the important ones) I had to do a level 2 course instead (same subject but lower level) during this year being in a new environment from the last I bought and smoked weed for the first time as well as getting my first hangover. During this year I was able to re sit my exams I passed 1 but still failed the other. I realised that the subject I was doing was no longer my passion. I got my first part time job as a receptionist so I could build my first gaming PC. My other close mate: after helping him meet his first girlfriend which by this point was at the 8- or 9-months mark, the 2 of them wanted to help me find someone. After fancying the same girl for the last 3 years at this point they introduced me to someone else, we were all away on a summer camp together so after being introduced we got talking for the next 4 whole days became really close only for on the last night before the big party for her friend to talk shit about me to her (seems to be a pattern here). A week later I had my second snog (kiss, make out, get with) with someone else (whatever u want to call it), this one was decent this happened to me on the NCS award (national citizen service) it’s like the Duke of Edinburgh award. 17-18 As I said before science was no longer what I wanted to do, so I changed to engineering at a new college (community college for the Americans). As I still didn’t have a C grade or above in my remaining GCSE exam, I had to do another level 2 course to pass. I got a new job as a waitekitchen assistant. started talking to another girl who in many ways she was a female version of me, we agreed on everything and got on well had so much in common it was unreal. My mate sadly broke up with his girlfriend so he was on the market too looking for someone else, I suggested to him that for his 18th he should throw a massive party, he agreed. I saw it as the perfect opportunity to make a move on the girl I was talking too; so, I invited her as my plus one. I got to his house early to help setup the house, she arrived about an hour later. I made a poor miss judgment that night and drunk about half a bottle of Russian standard vodka (no mixers). Being my drunk self I stumbled over to her and we began talking, then guess who comes over to us the same girl who cock blocked me previously and she does the god damn same, I have to admit me being as drunk as I was at That point definitely didn’t help. As you could I lost my shit at the person who yet again ruined something for me I went off on one in front of the whole goddamn party by this point the full force of my drinking hit me, I was unrollable cursing at the bitch who for the second time ruined something I had with someone. By this point the girl I invited left early, and my parents were called to pick me up. FYI the party stared at 8 I was home by 9 30 passed out. The girl I invited never spoke to me again I tried to apologise she didn’t really want much to do with me (understandable). My 18th I went clubbing for the first time and experienced a casino for the first time (played blackjack with £25 walked out with £120(I don’t encourage gambling, only play with what you can afford to lose)). The night club itself was something I didn’t enjoy all too much, main reason being there was only a few of us and the club was full of much older crowd than us, drinks where a fortune too, it was fun I enjoyed being out in the capital with my close mates at that time. It’s all about finding clubs that offer student nights where the crowd will be younger. Summertime, before the majority from my year head to university they all host a second school prom a reunion. This night again I learnt that people can and will be 2 faced if it serves them better. A girl who my mate had been helping me get talking to decided that the night before prom at a separate party he would make out with her himself (I was fine with that; I wasn’t at that party). I got invited to pre-drinks at this girls house the minute I walked in something felt off, it wasn’t until later I knew why; I found out my mate had made out with her the night before, unexpectedly he apologised to me (he didn’t need to, however I told him it was fine and move on) I was still hoping to get with her. 20 minutes later Infront of me the same mate of mine and the same girl were making out again (now I was pissed, first you apologise and then 20 minutes later do it Infront of me and everyone making me look like a mug). And again he apologises I played the bigger man held myself back from sparking him in the face and said that once is a mistake, 2 times is a slap in the face) this mate of mine was coming traveling with me 3 days later we didn’t speak until then. I went interrailing (traveling) through Europe with 4 mates that summer. 18-19 What was supposed to be my first year at university turned out to be another year at community college. This was also the start of where things got bad for me, by this point all my friends have had some sexual experience except me. My social crowd at this point is dwindling slowly at the time I didn’t notice I was just being left out more, (looking back, with some of my friends I was a background friend). I was finally on level 3 Btec engineering and have finally passed my last exam that I needed (took 4 attempts but if at first you don’t succeed try, try again). 19-20 (Present) Ok things are bad, I’ve realised that only 2 of my close mates are my only friends ( I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known, don’t know where it goes but its home to me, I walk alone). I knew for a while since the previous summer that most of the people I trust and call my friends don’t care about me. I only ever spoke to them If I was lucky enough to be invited out on the rare occasion (I would usually have to be the one to make the effort). I wanted to rid of the people who don’t care about me, I never thought for a second 2 of my other close mates (separate from the ones I mentioned in 19-20, they will always be my close mates) would be the ones to go first. One of these mates was someone who I had so many memorise with, we went clubbing together, wingmen for each other, I allowed him to get off with someone at my house while I was asleep in the same room (didn’t know until the morning); and now since the start of the coronavirus pandemic we haven’t spoken or seen one another and is telling people it’s my fault. (he and many others know that if I have done something to upset someone I will always be happy to fix it, I hate beefing with people) I realised he didn’t care for me no more, the memories we had together meant so much to me and nothing to him, he’s part of a new social crowd most of them I know and have also tried to get close with but I was never able to. I know I did something wrong to make all these people pull away from me I just don’t know what, I run so many possible reasons through my head but none make sense or seem big enough to make to a huge social crowd no longer want me around (popularity baffles me, it’s one thing I’ve never been nor able to understand). Now in my FINAL year of college and looking at either looking at going to university to study either Aerospace or Electronics engineering, getting an apprenticeship or I may join the army or the royal air force. I kind of wish I studied law. All I really want for my self is a job I’m proud of, something that when someone asks what I do for a living I can tell them and not be embarrassed or ashamed and not have to lie or exaggerate about it. However, before coronavirus hit the UK badly, I started a new part time job in retail pays very well for what it is, and I get nice bonuses I still managed to keep it through the lockdown. Been predicted high grades for my course more than enough for my university choices and the apprenticeships schemes I want. As I said at the beginning, this isn’t goodbye. I’ll still be here offering advice where I see fit giving my wisdom to those who need it. Also, if any of you need to talk or any advice drop me a message on here and I’ll try my best to help. “life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all” -u/randomhuman_23 Edit: i hope this doesn't get lost in new
It is now time for King's Survivor's 22nd season, and this time we will be returning to Cambodia, where there hasn't been a season filmed since season 10. We will see the return of the Brains Vs Brawn Vs Beauty twist, and will the Beauties win like last time, or will a different tribe's castaway win the game? The Cast: Chan Loh (Brains) Tribe: Adrian Blair, 28, Casino Owner, u/UltDragon Becky Ope, 34, Librarian, u/Rylandoesreddit Cedric "CJ" Williams Jr., 29, Professional Poker Player, u/TDSwaggyBoy Merrick Anton, 34, Food Reviewer, u/Twig7665 Yolanda Garcia, 23, Secretary, u/Pray_The_Gay_To_Come Zina Allrhed, 42, Casino Manager, u/CapybaraWookiee To Tang (Brawn) Tribe: Aaron Farland, 43, Football Coach, u/TDSwaggyBoy Abbey Corale, 24, Exercise Psychologist, u/FabColette Brent Gonzalez, 38, Steroid Manufacturer (I messed up with the counting of the male brawn tribe members, so I had to put this guy in) Isadora "Isa" Pineda, 25, Choreographer, u/FabColette Jackie Murray, 29, Personal Trainer, u/Twig7665 Shawn Phillip, 24, Professional Wrestler, u/acegamer1337 Gondol (Beauty) Tribe: Craig James, 35, Model, u/Twig7665 Jessica "Jessi" Deeler, 22, Instagram Infuencer, u/AngolanDesert Matilda Ness, 23, Waitress, u/TDSwaggyBoy Peter Sloan, 30, Real Estate Agent, u/SilverOwl24 Sa'Rae "Rae" Jones, 24, VIP Barmaid, u/RickieXCX Sue Hanel, 18, Masseuse, u/Dadaist-Drama Link to Season Episode 1: The tribes are divided into the Brains (Chan Loh), Brawn (To Tang), and Beauty (Gondol) tribes, each consisting of 6 members. At the Brains tribe, Adrian and CJ get along very well, and they form a duo. Yolanda and Zina see this and they align with each other to survive. After CJ finds the idol and fails to show it to Adrian, Adrian feels betrayed and their alliance weakens significantly. At the Brawn tribe, Aaron sees Abbey and Jackie forming a close relationship, so he gets Brent, Isa, and Shawn, who is impressing the tribe with his physicality, on his side. At the Beauty tribe, Craig and Peter strike up a bond, and they pull in Rae to create a solid three, and then talk to Sue to create four. The Beauty tribe loses immunity, and the majority four contemplate their moves. They decide that Matilda should be the first boot based on her poor performance in the immunity challenge. Matilda is blindsided in a 4-2 vote, leaving her ally Jessi confused. Episode 2: Jessi confronts her tribe after being blindsided, but bonds with Sue, because... reasons. Sue thinks it's fake bonding and goes to Rae, Peter, and Craig and lets them know that. Over at the Brawn tribe, Shawn, not content with being solidly in the majority and well liked, searches for and finds an idol for himself. While this is happening, Isa gets along with the other tribe members, putting Shawn at the bottom of the pecking order for the Brawn tribe. At the Brain tribe, CJ's cockiness because he has the idol starts to piss off his tribe mates, and they suspect he has an idol, but are unable to find it on his bag when they search through it. The Beauties lose immunity again, and because Jessi is on the outs, they all decide that she needs to go. Jessi throws her tribe under the bus at tribal council, stating she was the only one that did anything around camp, and this outburst gets her voted out unanimously. Episode 3: The four remaining Beauties vow to not let the other tribes beat them ever again, since they were down to only four members against two tribes of six. Sue tries to get Rae to flip against Peter and Craig, but Rae is aligned very tightly to Peter and Craig, so Sue becomes a target of hers. At the Brains tribe, Yolanda and Becky get along, but Yolanda has no loyalty towards her, and decides that she would be a good target. At the Brawn tribe, Shawn finds Abbey looking through his bag and has a massive blowup at her, causing them both to become targets. The Beauties lose immunity yet again, and Sue becomes target number one for the rest of the tribe. Sue, not wanting to go home, has one last trick up his sleeve. He tries to expose Craig's game, and Craig's closest ally, Peter, not wanting Craig to get blindsided, so Peter plays his idol for Craig, and only one vote was cast against Craig, so Sue goes home in a 3-0 vote. Episode 4: Rae, not wanting the two guys to turn on her, looks for and finds the idol so she can have safety if they were to go to tribal. At the Brains tribe, Zina's overbearing attitude starts to irritate the other tribe members. At the Brawn tribe, Aaron gets into fights with Abbey and Jackie over basically nothing, causing them to dislike him. The reward challenge sees the Beauty tribe expand their losing streak, losing the reward challenge. They are able to win the immunity challenge, and instead the Brawn tribe goes to tribal. Brent gets a target on his back for blowing the challenge, and the majority alliance decides to vote for Jackie at first, but Aaron insists that Abbey has to go, because he didn't like the way she acted. Aaron gets his way, and Abbey is voted out 4-2. Also, Shawn decides to use his idol to make sure he doesn't go home. Episode 5: Jackie, without an ally in the game, looks for and finds the hidden immunity idol rehidden after Shawn's idol shenanigans. Because Shawn played an idol, this causes Aaron to not trust him anymore. At the Beauty tribe, Craig, Peter, and Rae worry about the next immunity challenge, since if they lose, they would be down to two members. Luckily for them, it's the Brains tribe that goes to tribal council. Merrick starts working with the women as a counter to Adrian and CJ's close relationship. He also flat out dislikes CJ, but talks to him and they actually bond a little, making Merrick feel bad about voting him off. CJ and Adrian plan on voting off Zina for acting as the tribe leader, wanting to cause chaos within the tribe, and CJ plays his idol, negating four votes and sending Zina home fifth. Episode 6: The tribes are informed that a tribe swap will occur, and the To Tang tribe will be no more. On the new Chan Loh tribe is Aaron, Adrian, Becky, Brent, Craig, and Jackie. The new Gondol tribe has Isa, Merrick, Peter, Rae, Shawn, and Yolanda. As for CJ, he will be put on Exile Island until tribal council, where he will join the losing tribe after tribal council. At Gondol, the tribe members get to know one another before they all begin to want to take each other out. At Chan Loh, Becky finds an idol while Aaron and Jackie have a huge argument just because Aaron hates Jackie. The Gondol tribe wins immunity, and Aaron is able to convince the entire tribe to vote off Jackie, but Jackie plays her idol and decides with her one vote to idol out Brent because of his uselessness in challenges. Episode 7: CJ joins the Chan Loh tribe, and he immediately feels out of place. He is able to reunite with ally Adrian, and soon after Becky and Adrian have a huge fight over Becky moving Adrian's bag, and Adrian thinking she went through his belongings. At Gondol, Merrick and Yolanda's quarrels end up with them splitting up their alliance they once had. Gondol wins immunity once again, and Chan Loh goes to their third tribal council. Aaron pulls CJ into his alliance and tells him that he's been trying to get rid of Jackie since day 1 and he needs his help. CJ agrees to it, and Jackie is voted off unanimously one day before merge. Episode 8: The tribes merge into the Dara tribe, consisting of the top 11 players, who are Aaron, Adrian, Becky, CJ, Craig, Isa, Merrick, Peter, Rae, Shawn, and Yolanda. Immediately, Isa and Craig have an argument because of their conflicting personalities. This causes a massive split to occur, with Isa and Shawn becoming the outsiders. Peter wins immunity, and Isa and Shawn target Aaron for being strong willed and good in challenges, while the majority target Shawn for his likability and strength in challenges, and Shawn becomes the first juror in a 9-2 vote. Episode 9: Aaron gets mad at Isa for voting for him, and they have a major blowout that attracts the attention of most of the tribe. Isa, Aaron, Becky, Merrick, and Adrian win the reward challenge, and they get to enjoy some time away from the game, where they don't have to worry about voting each other out. At this point, a new majority, led by Peter, Craig, and Rae try to send Aaron to the jury. That plan goes out the window when Aaron wins immunity, forcing them to pick a new target. Unfortunately for them, CJ talks with Aaron and tells him what was happening if he didn't win immunity, and Aaron immediately tries to round up numbers to get rid of Craig. He convinces the whole tribe, minus Yolanda and the Beauty trio, to vote off Craig, and it is successful, and Craig becomes the second member of the jury in a 6-4 vote. Episode 10: After feeling betrayed by the previous night's votes, Yolanda becomes angry at CJ for betraying her. Merrick, thinking he's on the bottom of his alliance, flips on them and joins the alliance of Yolanda, Peter, and Rae. At the reward challenge, Rae, CJ, Yolanda, and Isa win the reward, and they get Chinese takeout delivered to camp. Aaron wins immunity again, so the four of Merrick, Peter, Rae, and Yolanda target Becky again. The majority talks among themselves and decides that Yolanda needs to go because of her strategic acumen, so Yolanda is voted out 5-4 over Becky. Episode 11: After tribal council, since Becky was close to getting voted out twice now, Becky gets really cocky that she could survive anything in this game, and it starts to really annoy her tribe mates. Only Adrian at first seems to be on her side, but then Merrick has a fight with Aaron, and joins their side as well, giving them three players and an idol. The next day, the Survivor Auction takes place, Aaron wins a cheeseburger and beer, CJ wins a letter from home, and Rae wins an extra vote advantage. CJ wins the immunity challenge this round. Peter and Rae come to Aaron, CJ, and Isa and they try to forget their former distrust, as they're all in the same boat together now. at tribal council, Rae plays her extra vote, voting for Becky twice, and Becky, feeling she's in danger, plays her idol, sending Aaron to the jury with 3 votes. Episode 12: Everyone congratulates Becky on her successful idol play, although the four remaining people in the majority want to target her again as soon as possible. The Brains team up to take out Merrick, who is no longer loyal to them, but Merrick talks to Isa and the Beauties to take out Becky for being too dangerous. Isa and Rae win the reward challenge, and they bring Adrian, and form a fake final three deal with him, but they don't want to take him to the end. Adrian calls their bluff almost immediately and assumes Merrick was behind it. CJ wins immunity, and Becky is voted out 4-3. Episode 13: Isa, despite being on the right side of the votes, decides to isolate herself from the rest of the tribe, making her to be a target. Merrick finally realizes how big of a threat Peter and Rae are, since they would take each other to the end no matter what, and he tells CJ, Isa, and Adrian. Merrick, Adrian, and CJ win reward, and they relax for a bit while knowing that their plan would work. Adrian wins immunity, and at tribal council, Rae plays her idol, negating four votes and making Merrick the sixth jury member in a 2-0 vote. Episode 14: Now with no idols left in the game, there is nowhere to hide for any of the contestants. Rae wins the reward challenge, and brings the two she trusted the most with her- Peter and CJ. There, they form a final three deal. CJ wins immunity, and the three of Isa, Rae, and Peter target Adrian for his close ties with CJ. CJ thinks that Isa would be voting Rae with him and Adrian, but Isa goes behind his back and votes for Adrian, and Adrian becomes the seventh jury member. Finale: CJ, realizing his time is up if he doesn't win immunity, tries to convince Isa to flip back on his side, which works, but CJ still doesn't trust Isa. CJ wins the reward and shares it with Isa in hopes that Isa wouldn't flip on him, and it works. Isa wins immunity, and votes with him for Peter, the biggest strategist left in the game. What happens next is a fire making challenge between the two men, which CJ wins. Peter becomes the eighth juror. The next day, the final three compete in a reward challenge for an undisclosed advantage. CJ wins this advantage, and he goes into the next tribal with the power to remove a juror. Not wanting a tie to happen, he removes Yolanda from the jury, because he knows Yolanda wouldn't vote for him no matter what. The final three consists of CJ, Isa, and Rae. CJ explains his status as an underdog, and that he survived death many times in this game. Rae claims that she played the best game, since she was on a struggling tribe in the early game, played an idol, and voted right at every tribal council. Isa is seen as too much of a flipper to win, and in the end, the jury decides to give CJ the win in a close 4-3 vote. Craig is revealed to be the winner of the fan favorite award for his strategic game and wacky personality. Winner: Cedric "CJ" Williams Jr., u/TDSwaggyBoy Fan Favorite: Craig James, u/Twig7665 Next season will be the first season using the new Brantsteele simulators instead of the older ones, so it will hopefully feature longer, more detailed write ups. It will also see the return of the Battle of the Ages twist, although it is now with Millennials and Gen Xers. It will be King's Survivor: Millennials Vs Gen X!
A FISTFULL OF SLIME Intro: Jcole: Here ye members of the court! A tale of legend I..Jcole, have come to report! From fire and steel to gold and ice! To drip to drown, with virtue or vice? In our fair land of rhyme and rhythm What is now whole shall fall to schism The King Youngboy, the great lord Drake! From Kanye to Uzi’s Eternal Atake! Great powers come to move and shift Lend ear to my tale And let your mind drift. 38 Baby the Second *Whole cast celebrating in the streets for youngboys album release* Ensemble: Oh its time its almost time! The Great rap day awaits! Oh it's time to drip or drown With Youngboy’s sacred Tape! Kanye: I had a twisted fantasy! Chief Keef: And I made Finally rich Polo G: But next to youngboy’s greatest work we all seem like his bitch Quando: You old heads are so dramatic. Ensemble: Oh its time it's time! Everyone get frantic! Oh it's time to drip or drown With Youngboy’s latest antic! Drake: Oh youngboy of greatest slime! This work I can't await! For when it falls upon my ears I'm sure that I will faint! Youngboy: Yes I know my little slimes I know you want this flame But before all the hype explodes just let me say its name! Ensemble: Thirty Eight Baby Two!! *Ddawg nudges Quando, whispers in ear * Both in unison: Attention crowd! let the man speak treat his words with respect watch your attention peak. *Quando looks at youngboy and winks, youngboy bows head slightly* Youngboy: ok ok, I’d like to thank you all who came to hear my proclamation. From all corners of the nation we build up a foundation with hard work-determination and no incantation. and no nothing was built on the back of 38 so I’d appreciate if y’all could wait just a little while longer. But my what an honour to rule this fine fief or rap lords and trap queens alike and despite the wars ending our economy’s not! And we’ve made a play onto the global stage and stole the spot! *Kanye points at watch* Light, right. In conclusion our peace is might tight. But 38 2 is not ripe; believe me I’m trying to write fast and I’ll have it ready in a right flash. Drake: thank you for your attentive ears loyal subjects, now disperse. Scene 1: *The party fades and most leave, except Drake Kanye and YB* Drake: Ha Ha, what a show Your Slimeness! The populace can't wait! this album will change the game right from under our feet all over again. Youngboy: Yes...Yes they did seem excited didn't they? I just hope I can live up to it. Kanye: How could the first king to win his throne on one one album alone possibly disappoint. Youngboy: You miss the point Drake: let alone your ascension to the throne was spectacular now you’ve got that tone plus your vernacular *hand kiss food thingy* you're magic is here. you’ve got the people eating from the palm of your hand. True power my boy there is no equal and be most careful, for there is not always a sequel. Youngboy: thank you Lord Drake, Lord Kanye. *Enter Quando Rondo and Ddawg* Quando: YooooOOOO! You know it’s Quando and Ddwag about to tear it up and you know I feel my talent flarein, my boy YB bout to drop the heat. But then why his company looking older than 1st street? Ddawg: Word. Kanye: I can’t believe they made it past my guards again. *Youngboy shoots Kanye a dirty look and Kanye recomposes* Youngboy: I’m glad you guys are here I’ve- Quando: wait wa wait wat, it can wait. I’ve just received an invitation from a trio of lucky maidens to accompany them to the tavern Ddawg: it’d be dope to hang out as a group again. Youngboy : it would be *smiles at Ddawg* but knowing you, we’d probably end in a drunken brawl over somebody’s honour. Quando: like you don’t love it. Youngboy: that may be so, but I’ve just got a lot going on right now and with 38 2 so close, dont worry about it. As soon as 38 baby 2 drops We’ll all go out drinking fine henny until we burst. Ddawg: let’s make it Molly water , can’t Stand the scent of Hennesey after last time. Youngboy: alright *Both look at Quando who is playing hard to get* Quando: ok but you’re buying. Youngboy: when didn’t I *Mockingly curtsy* both: my lord *Youngboy laughs until he realized Kanye is glaring at him the same way he was earlier and recomposes* Kanye: that’s enough *Q&D exit * Kanye: you know my liege, you didn’t have to bring them to the capital with you. Youngboy: what’s the point of being king if I forget where I came from? Drake: besides the boy is young, let him have his fun while he can *pats YB on the back* Kanye: You know I always loved this part of the Castle. The Hall of Kings. From Pac to Pump All our fabled leaders represented in carti’s glory. One day you can be up there Youngboy. Along with the Greats. Youngboy: Would you two leave me for the night? I wish to do some thinking. Drake: But of course. *Drake and Ye exit* The Pressures of Clout Youngboy: Kings of Old Instruct me! Tell me what to do! How can I make a new album, that can live up to all of you? They all want another Untouchable, they all want another Dream But they don't think about what it takes To achieve that kind of Gleam I just need more time but release day is coming I just need the drip and the top to keep coming I just wish that something would take their mind off it! I just wish that I had time to enjoy my profit I need more time All the days that spent writing, was all for not if they don’t like it? Even when I hear it, I know that it’s not perfect (and they deserve perfect) The past is wall I can’t break through, the future an abyss, that holds true I just wish that something would take their mind off it! Just long enough to a polish all its gleam to shine! I need more time. If Im to do it right the people want it done right, tight. I’ll sit and type and every day and every night ill write the lyrics out and print em out I’ll use my mind to the peak of it's design. Cuz that’s part of the slimelight! I’ll write until I lose sight I’ll write until the albums right. And yeah I might just write until I drop dead but you have no idea how much I’ve bled! The streets discuss my album and I’m all bed if I die in the pursuits of slime then at least I’m all red. But alas I ramble and rave in my spot Savage asked how much I cried A lot I must seek council in these dark times. I should speak with the Oracles. *Exit Youngboy* Scene 2: *Enter Jcole* Jcole: And so Youngboy seems to lack the flame That once had empowered him to change the game The Council of three, he will now approach The Migos almighty do now encroach *Exit Jcole* *Youngboy into Chamber of the Oracles* Youngboy: Oh wise Migos, oracles of trap How can there be a who’s king afraid to rap I made my first album with time as my leisure And now that I've won I just can't stop the pressure! How do I tell the kingdom it’s just not ready? Quavo: King Young Boy that ain't why you came (Nah!) so let’s not play that game Offset: You're looking for a way to delay and sing more time Quavo: King slime you will soon encounter an immovable wall (mama) Offset: and an endless abyss (on sight) Quavo: to counter this you must accept the wall and jump willingly to your death (takeoff) Youngboy: I needn't tell you I’ve no clue of what you speak. Quavo: heed our warning king! Three migos: a dark cloud broods over the king and thus the kingdom Offset: a time of strife and then some approaches Three Migos: even now it encroaches! Quavo: it toils alone and alone it is in anguish, soon to be released it's dreaded verbal ambush Takeoff: hiding with roaches it dwells in scwaller, yet it thinks itself a grand baller. It hides it's content and harms those it holds dearest! it do! Youngboy: hides it's content, verbal ambush? surely you don’t mean to say I am this cloud? Quavo: we tell you what we see, a simple prophecy Takeoff: we would not dare to tell the king what he thinks it means Youngboy: you mean to confuse me further? It is an irony most harsh that you can see the future yet deliver it in ways no less cryptic than the present! I came here to seek council not reproach and yet I leave further in shambles than when I came! I doubt not your words though sting me they do, perhaps I was hasty in accepting the Kings throne. I bid farewell for I wish to be alone. Scene 3: Youngboy: It’s getting late, perhaps you’d best go to you chambers no? Takeoff: indeed king you are right (right) Offset and Takeoff: Carti be with Ye king Quavo: you’ll need him *Exit YB and migos* *Enter Drake, revealed to have been listening* Drake: Get in here you fools, While we are alone! *Nav and Tory Lanez stumble in from their hiding places* Drake: You heard what just happened. Not only is the king losing his will and unsure about his album, but the oracles have predicted doom to his reign! Nav: Is this where we come in big slime? Drake: It is exactly what we have been waiting for. The boy is no tyrant or fool, but he is no one to rule the kingdom. He lacks wisdom, and experience. Tory Lanez: Which is why he needs to be replaced. For the good of the kingdom of course. Drake: Yes but how to challenge him? His power from his rise still lingers, And he has the love of the people! Nav: how could they not sir, his album was a certified hood classic and it did bring about an era of unprecedented peace and econom- Drake: Silence fool! or have you forgotten your loyalty? If you’ve no ideas on how to de throne that brat then shut it. Tory Lanez: If I may sir,there is a man I have dealt with in the past who can grant what we seek. I could have him for an audience within the hour. Drake: Very well, Nav Summon him.Let's hear what this Mr- Tory Lanez: Tecca Sir Drake: Right, what this Mr Tecca has to say Twin Glocks Knock on door at beat drop of song Drake: Proceed! *Tory takes a knee at door* Tory: allow me, to present the honorable scoundrel with no moral compass *In strolls Tecca (skull topped cane) and the music changes to a 1930’s grimy Cajun swing* Tecca: you did fine my old accomplice Now let’s get to the subject you want a certain child with a shiny chain to disappear don’t you? And I can tell from your lack of fear, I haven't told you? I have been here before. Many times in fact and each time it’s amazes me what an archetype I find with that gripe in mind of a dirty rotten king that left you behind. Now you don’t have to tell me but let’s roll the dice if you’ve still got the nerve, let’s discuss my price. Drake: you think you know me? Hah I’ve taken more lives than a OG I’ve told more lies than we’re told to me and I’ve dwelt with snakes for years. And Don’t talk about my fears. But if your fares are fair and the affair in order let’s start there. Tecca: I want land Drake: land? Done. I know better than to ask what for. Tecca: no need I’ll tell you, I’m opening up a casino. I’m not much of a gambler but I play a hell of a house. Drake: HA not so dull for an assassin Tecca: Oh I'm much worse than that my friend. Drake: let’s hope Tecca: now tell me what you want 😉 Drake: Im plotting on his down fall! Nav and Tory: ooooooh yeah!! Drake: I'm breaking out my flows Nav and Tory: O V O Drake: But I need something to take from king NBA Something to get him away! Tecca: that’s where I come in Drake: What's that nowww! Tecca: what’s happenin? Goons: Oh wow wow! Tecca: what’s up what’s up Tecca: Mr Graham my esteemed regards You're an astute man but you're a grand mirage We'll i've got something to turn his ice to shards You can't beat his flow and you can't match his drip, but what if youngboy were to take a trip?! Ahhh Drake: Watch it Tecca: you want it easy? A clear path to the throne room? Well when I’m done the kingdom will owe you! Drake and Nav: damn right! Tecca: You take these twin glocks Drake and Goonies: Damn right! Tecca: and then you wait and see! Goonies: Oooh yeah! Tecca: and if you’ll follow me you’ll take him far from see Drake: taking youngboy for Ransom!?? I cant pull that one! Goons: nooo no no Tecca: That's why you take The youngest one, and watch that youngboy run! *music stops* Drake: Ddawg Where are you Ddawg *Enter Main Kingdom cast* Kanye: Where could he be! Chief Keef and Polo G: Where we cant see! Ensemble: Oh ddawg you have left us! Oh ddawg don't forsake us !! Youngboy: Tell me you saw him, oh somebody saw him, they just must have seen him I can't believe it! Drake: I searched all his favorite taverns and his home!! Ensemble: I heard him say it was because of the album Youngboy: Noooo this can't be Ddawg would not leave like this! Was this part of migo’s prophecy? Nooo that can't be! Ensemble: it wouldn’t have happened if you dropped the album! Chief: What will you do oh big slime! Ensemble: Oh What can you do oh big slime! Nav and Tory: 38 baby can't come in this state! Drake: Be quiet buffoons let the boy take the bait! My King I can't help but realize That your album has not materialized Maybe if it was finished Ddawg would not have vanished Youngboy: Yes. That's right. This is all my fault! I am no man fit to be king I don't belong here, in the palace of bling! Youngboy: I must take leave to bring ddawg back the only explanation is he’s been kidnapped! And the album...must wait for my searching spree. I won’t release 38 baby 2 till Ddawg free! *youngboy darts around the stage getting ready to leave* *Entire ensemble musical gasp* Ensemble: till he’s free! Kanye: what a mess Ensamble: till he’s free!? Drake: too perfect, I must confess Ensamble: Till he’s free, free, freeeeeee! *End song* Scene 4: Quando: I assure you folks my friend, uh, our king, will have 38 2 released on schedule. Kanye: for once the boy is right my liege we must prevent a panic. I give you my word as your general and friend that I will send the best men at my disposal and personally control them until Ddawg is found. Drake: the boy’s distress is profound let him take leave now or he’ll not drip well and drown! Youngboy: enough! *long pause* *looking at Kanye* Youngboy: You promise you’ll do everything you can, use every means at your disposal? Drake: surely my liege you mean reject this proposal! *Youngboy raises a hand to silence drake(pissed off)* Kanye: yes sir, every means at my disposal. Youngboy: dismissed. Kanye: as you wish. *Nav to tory* The boss will be pissed! Drake: as you wish your highness. *Lights dim as kanye and drake back away, crowd disperses, quando is left standing looking at Youngboy with worry* *Low key piano* Quando: I’ve known you how many years? Youngboy: so many it’s not a matter of years Quando: im not a man of many fears but Ddawg is naive, and truthful to a fault. He’s like a younger brother to me. Youngboy: to us both. Quando: you see what I mean? let me go looking. You’d do the same. Youngboy: no! Quando: why not!? Youngboy: we’re not kids on 38th street anymore Quando, you are known as the kings best fiend, if you travel into the wastes you’ll be taken for ransom! Quando: you don’t know that! Youngboy: I won’t lose another friend because I can’t drop an album Quando: Well then we wait for Ye’s men. Youngboy: You know I can't do that. Ddawg is my responsibility, and I will find him myself Quando: You can't be seri- Youngboy: You have always known better than to try and change my mind, even before I was king I’ll find him and I’ll bring him back, . Quando: Just promise that whether you find him or not, you will return to us And Here take these clothes, they should disguise you on your journey.. Youngboy: I promise Quando. And thank you. *Exit Quando, Enter Drake* Drake: Sire, you should see this. A letter, seemingly left by ddwag. Youngboy: Open it. Ddawg: Yo Youngboy I hope this finds you well Last night Quando drank until he fell. He’d’ve broken his neck but a stranger caught him, told me it was his duty to serve the king and his army. Like it or not we’re your best friends and like it or not we’re with you to the end but I’m not a kingsmen. I want a life where I’m not best friend to the king or living meal to meal, is this life’s only deal for me? I wander through the streets so frequently and almost as commonly I’m asked “when’s 38 bay 2 coming, how long” I don’t know! It’s all too much. I hope you guys understand, I know Quando will. Look, I’m going to the wastelands, I know I know they’re dangerous but I’ll wear a disguise and I’ll be careful who I Talk to. I’m going to find out who I am apart from all this 38 2 hype. It’s like 38 street right? Watch your back, stay on track and be the first to attack. See ya later home boy You know the name with the most game, Ddawg. Youngboy Prepare the foriegn, I depart within the hour. I will have to see if I can bring that poor boy back,It's the least I can do. Drake: Do you think you can return youngboy? Pardon me for speaking out of turn, but it seems like If you can't produce and album, than there are those who would say you are unfit to rule. I of course will support whatever your choice is your slimeness. But consider the kingdom, the people. Youngboy: What they say is correct lord Drake. I am no king, Im but a young boy. I'm sorry I won't keep that promise Quando. *Exit Youngboy* *Enter Nav* Nav: What shall we do with the prisoner sire? Drake: Spill him. Discreetly. We have no need for ddawg to ever surface again. *Exit Drake* Scene: 5 *Enter Drake and Kanye* Kanye: Where is the king drake. Drake: Gone. To where I do not know. Kanye: When will he return?! Drake: I doubt he ever will. I think he understands now, why he was unfit to rule. One good album doesn't make a king. Kanye: What did you say to him Drake. Drake: Nothing he wasn't thinking himself. We should not be grieving over the loss of a boy who played king. You and I need to focus on the future of this kingdom. About getting back what was signed away in the peace treaties, what is rightfully ours. Do you forget our sacrifice? Do you forget the wars of the east and west, or the Altantan invasions? Kanye: I could never allow myself to forget. But I do not boil in anger over wars of the past. Wars that saw thousands die? And for what? Spots on the billboard? Drake: Exactly, the wars became pointless once that king forced us to compromise. We could have used his album to dominate the other kingdoms! Luke Bryan would be hanged, Weezer exiled! How many of our brothers died to rid the world of enemies that youngboy decided were our friends! I didn't get a say. The Dead didn't get a say! Kanye: And what would you have us do? Lead the world into war again, because us old men cant escape our own failure? Because it took what you call a boy to make the mature decision and end the bloodshed! I don't always understand the King, but I do understand when I see a good man, and youngboy is a good man! Better than you or I could hope to be after what we have done! Drake: If you won't rule with me. Than I will rule without you. *Drake and Kanye begin to battle, violently clashing as old men past their prime. Kanye: Give up drake, I was always the better fighter. Drake: You were. And that's why I needed help. *Nav and Tory come from behind and knock kanye down* *Quando enters the room* Quando: My Lords Im afraid the king- Kanye: Quando...The Guards now! *Tory knocks out kanye* Drake: Quando. Oh Quando my boy Im so sorry. But Kanye.. He-he poisoned the king before he could leave. He tried to take the throne for himself. And he nearly succeeded. No matter how far he is, youngboy im afraid has but mere hours to live. Quando: No...That can't be. That simply...Can't Be! Kanye was a friend he would never! He could never! Drake: Believe me Quando. I've known the man my whole career. And not even I was wise enough to stop it. I must go. A high lord who cant save the king from a man he has known for life is a lord who cannot rule. Quando: ….No Drake you must stay. You almost died trying to save him. Plus you are the only high lord we have left. We need you to lead the kingdom. If you will do it. Its what.. Its what youngboy would have wanted. Drake: What you ask is a lot Quando. But for youngboy. For you. I will try. *Exit Quando* Tory: What do we do with the traitor my lor-King Drake: Let Baby and Gunna have him. Im sure some time on ice in the eternal drip will sort out kanye’s attitude Drifting Slime *Enter youngboy* Youngboy: Alone! Roaming through the landscape! A new kind of closeness with Vlone! A mixture of fear and excitement! Away from the pressures of home! But then I remember poor ddawg The one who I caused to be lost I just should have listened to Quavo And my closest friends paid the cost! I deserve to wander alone! I don't belong ruling a kingdom! My arrogance would destroy the throne! My Ignorance has beaten my wisdom! So now I will walk Looking for him Hoping to set things right And then we'll talk I will send him back home And I will still wander the night… Youngboy: Really Ddawg, couldn’t you have ran off to the kingdom of Indie instead? *singing in distance* Youngboy: at last a tavern! Surely they know what way Ddawg went! *youngboy enters tavern* *Fantasy drinking song melody, pirate like* Macklemore: We drink to the health of our King! Chorus: we drink to the health of our king! Macklemore That he be wise in his rule! Chorus: that he be wise in his rule! *youngboy smiles* Macklemore: But if he ventured here! Chorus: for his life he should fear! Macklemore: Well there’s a place and time for royalty but I’ve no time for royalty They take and make the laws to boot Then turn around and Everyone: take our loot! *youngboy shuffles over to the bar and tries to blend in* Russ: Well my names Russ and I made a livin! *cheers* Feeding the troops and on their misgivings *cheers* Then Barbarians went and took my field. And the crown did nothing, but expects me to yield? *jeers* G-Eazy: My names gerald and most of you know me *cheers* And if you don’t pray you don’t owe me! *cheers* I was a banker of sorts, putting hearts in bags of course *jeers* But my deposits where good till my deposits where stole and the kingdom took my bank! Chorus: who do we have to thank! Macklemore: Well we drink to the health of king Chorus: and pray that he never comes! Macklemore: Well he’d be wise to follow that rule Chorus: no matter, he’s a royal tool! Lil Xan: *obviously drunk* My name is uh.. Xan I think *cheers* Hey Russ, go and fetch me a drink! *to the point!* I ran a trap house of hoes with no blouse then the government took it away! *Xan falls of stool and young boy catches him* Youngboy: It’s fair to think what you want young Xan, maybe the king doesn't care. But surely the peace and prosperity can bring pride for us all to bear? *dead quiet, music stops* G-eazy: who are you? Russ: who are you? Xanl: who are you? *The guys brandish weapons* Bartender(Kendrick): what do you intend to do? *Macklemore walks over smiling nervously, and ushers the men to calm down* Macklemore: Nothing, nothing, it's just rare to see newcomers in this part of the waste. Especially ones with such...exotic opinions. *The Men walk away with Macklemore and Youngboy sits at the bar* Scene 6: Youngboy: I’d offer you a drink in the way of thanks but… Kendrick: Not much of a drinker actually, providing a haven for these outcasts just keeps me busy in my old age. Now what brings a man like you here? Youngboy: what makes you think I’m any different from the rest of the riff raff? *Youngboy buys drink* Kendrick: Despite what you see, I was once more than a humble barman, and I can tell someone from the capital when I see one. Not to mention that you don't seethe with the same hatred of the royal line as the drifters in here. Youngboy: May I have your name good sir? You have done me service, and I like to remember folk that have. Kendrick: Most just call me Barman these days, but once I was known as Kendrick. Those were different times altogether. Youngboy: If my memory serves me correctly, than I seem to recall that the man known as kendrick was a man of some renown. In fact he had produced some of the kingdoms most powerful albums during the great wars. So why leave to come bartend out here? Kendrick: The short answer, I was conflicted, misusing my influence, Im sure sometimes you have done the same. Abusing your power full of resentment? I couldn't keep living in that political world, so I took what I had and made this place, as a haven for those in the kingdom down on their luck, or struggling, the little slimes who need to eat. Youngboy: If you don’t mind me asking, what’s with the hatred of the crown here? Kendrick: Didn’t you hear em, we all lost something, whether by war or by peace someone always gets the short end of the stick. Youngboy: I thought the kings last album brought prosperity to the whole kingdom. Kendrick: 38 baby? That album brought prosperity alright, as long as you're one of the sods lucky enough to live in a city or Carti forbid, the capital. Youngboy: so none of you are anticipating the sequel? Kendrick: Hah! You’re either the funniest bloke to come in here or the stupidest! *both laugh youngboy takes a nervous drink* Youngboy: listen, to tell you the truth I’m in search of a friend of mine, he went missing from the capital and I’ve been searching for a few days trying every place I can find. *shows a picture of Ddawg* do you remember seeing him pass through here? Kendrick: Not at all mate, sorry. Youngboy: It’s no problem, thanks for the drink. Bartender: Before you go, let me tell you something. These wastes, are strange places, the space between the genre kingdoms, between worlds. Some say that if you wander long enough, spirits of the past can show you what you seek. Of course it's only a legend. Youngboy: I suppose wandering is all I can do at this point. *Lights fade to black* Scene 7: *Enter Main Cast, Drake speaking to the kingdom* Drake: As we all grieve of Youngboys loss I will regrettably hold the throne as the only loyal high lord left After the disgusting betrayal by Lord Kanye. I swear to you citizens, that this kingdom shall regain the respect and strength it once commanded. No longer shall we fraternize with kingdoms that should pay us tribute. Once again in this terrible time, we will bond together, and we will become stronger. And for that to occur, the power of the crown must become stronger. Chief Keef: I know the Council has it's issues but it has always served the Kings well. *Councillors agree* Drake: I don't intend to dissolve it councillor Chief Keef I only ask that it be handed less power. At times like these we must unite as one clear voice to reassure the people all is well, you surely wouldn’t want riots in the streets would you councillor? Chief Keef: Of course not m'lord Drake: Then I see no further topic of discussion, today's meeting is dismissed. Polo G: There is one other thing, my...King There are reports of unrest in the outer territories, Lord blueface of criponia wishes to request that he be allowed more autonomy for his domain, they don't like that we are using their resources for your new projects, especially if these projects take us to war again. They are quite firm in their demands, and other local Lords in the outer lands are requesting the same. They also seem to call into question your legitimacy as king sire. Drake: Tell this “Blueface”, that the days where the king could be pushed around by minor lords are over. I will do with his kingdom what I see fit, and I will use their wealth as I wish. The Resources of the kingdom, and it’s outer territories are to be funneled towards the creation of the album. Chief Keef: Will we be attempting to finish 38 baby two sire? Drake: Haha, no Councillor Keef, I'm afraid not. The new Album will be my Magnum Opus. More Life 2. *Most exit, except Drake and Quando* Drake: You see my boy politicians are ravenous beasts, one must keep their wits about them to survive such a hunt. Quando: Surely then this castle is a jungle and I, a tasty meal. Drake: How so? Quando: Well the way I see it, I am all that remains of Youngboys living legacy, to win the trust of the people one must display me above their mantle. Drake: Your thoughts are too morbid for a man of such youth, but perfect for a beast of the stone jungle! *both laugh* Quando: He is really gone huh? Ddawg and Youngboy both in one day! I just can't accept it. Drake: I understand how you feel Quando. I have been in the game for a long time now And losing friends is a feeling I know too well. Please if there is anything you need, just ask. Quando: Yes of course Thank you, uh My King Drake: Call me Drizzy Quando You are a friend of the Royal line And you deserve a position as such. How would you like to be hand of the king? Quando: It would be an honour my ki-uh drizzy! Thankyou! I won't let you down! Drake: We will do great things together Quando. Great things. Scene 8: *Enter Jcole* Jcole: Youngboy is Lost And Drake thinks he’s found Both of them have yet to cover much ground Our story continues with Drake at his keep Meeting his council While Youngboy does weep *Exit Jcole, Enter Youngboy* Youngboy: I'm never going to find Ddawg. I have to face it. I ignored the migos, and I drove him away. Just further proof Im not strong enough to drop my album, Let alone be king of anything. *Youngboy wandering around a barren waste, goes to drink water but is out then he spots a withered tree, collapses against it and starts humming a tune.* Youngboy: perhaps I will rest here a moment *closes eyes and begins to die* Ethereal voice: Youngboy Ethereal voice: youngboy awaken, it is not yet your time Youngboy: B-Bobby Shmurda? The King of the Past? But how? Bobby S: It is true, I have passed on, and by carti’s grace I linger a spirit. I have been waiting a long time for you to come to me Youngboy. It is time you learned what every king must learn. How to be who they need you to be. Youngboy: how do I know your not just a mirage? BobbyShmurda: I’m afraid you don’t but I know that you are real and so are the troubles that befall your kingdom. Youngboy: Yes, 38 baby 2 isn’t nearly ready and now Ddawg is missing because if it . BobbyShmurda: That is beside the point. Youngboy: what? Bobby S: You worry about your album, is it because you doubt your ability or do you doubt your ability because you worry about the album? *youngboy visibly confused* Youngboy: both? Bobby S: Your friend is gone,And I'm afraid it is worse than you thought. Youngboy: Whatever do you mean spirit? If ddawg is in trouble I must go to him at once! Bobby S: Not until you can answer my question. Youngboy: This is no time for games! Tell me Bobby where is he? Bobby S: I believe I made myself clear, did I not? Youngboy: Very well. I will answer your question. BS: What caused the fall of Prince Juice Wrld? Youngboy: How am I supposed to- *sigh* okay uh well after his EP flopped his province went into a period of extreme poverty and ruin so perhaps, making a wack album? Bobby S: No Youngboy: I’ve no time for games Sir Shmurda and my patience is wearing thin. If you know where Dda- Bobby S: you will die Youngboy: What? Well Who doesn’t I suppose. But what’s that got to do with- Bobby S: Listen young king, if I tell you where Ddawg is you will die for you are not yet ready to face those who have taken him. *youngboy thinks* Youngboy: Then teach me. Show me how to beat them. Bobby S: Iit will be a difficult journey and even after my training I can’t guarantee that you will succeed. *Youngboy who was looking down as BS talked brandishes a smile* Youngboy: I’ve never had a guarantees my entire life. Give me your best shot. Bobby S: You remind me of the great king PAC at your age. He was also stubborn to a fault. *Youngboy chuckles* Bobby Shmurda: and brave. *Exit All* Scene: 9 *Enter Drake, Quando, Chief keef, and Polo G* Chief: Well Drake,If you refuse to ride and meet with this “Blueface” What are we to do? He and other lords of the outer lands gain support with each passing day. Soon if nothing is done it shall come to civil war! Drake: These “Separatists” whether it’s Blueface, Tekashi or any others Are just a mild annoyance. My Hittas are more than sufficient to repel any invasion from this Blueface in the West or 6ix9ine in the east! Right now the kingdom needs to focus on the development of my new album, More Life 2. And my plans for conquest of the other kingdoms. Polo G: The other kingdoms should be our allies, we can ask Weezer for help with these Border Rebels! Chief Keef is right Drake, W\with threats to the kingdom growing on the inside, We need external allies or els- Quando: Show some respect! Polo, Chief! You question your new king! You call him by name? The King is right, we need to secure the homefront. Without 38 baby 2 we need an album to sustain the kingdom. Chief: And you think that album is More life 2?! Drake: This meeting is over Don't make any decisions you will regret councillors. Quando with me. *Drake and Quando leave* Chief: Hey Polo Send ambassador stitches to the Duchy of Weezer, Maybe he can get an assessment from them of how the outer lands are looking. If the king doesn't care about keeping the kingdom whole then we have to do it ourselves. Polo G: Agreed. I just don't get it, Ddawg running away? Kanye Killing the king? And the only ones to see it were Drake and his cronies? None of this makes sense. Chief: Drake and his toronto Goons Are hiding something. Ovo is up to something Chief: I don't like this new direction, I don't like this kind of flow The situation reeks of mischief, how does no one seem to know Polo G: Drake is king, and ye is gone, having to hear new nav songs! They're scheming with their evil drip, no ye no youngboy this is it! Chief: Ovo is up to something Polo: Nav and Tory good for nothing Chief: Mandatory Drip inspection Polo: lets teach drizzy drake his lesson! Chief: We need a plan, we need something to spill them Polo: Well there was something I think I heard them mention! Some twin glocks that drake bought lowkey! They got ddawg for their evil scheme. Chief: It's just you and me we gotta make do, we save the game and maybe 38 baby 2 *Exit Chief Keef and Polo G, Enter Drake and Migos*
I see this post so often, and I'm amazed that people have trouble of thinking of things to do in an urban environment, so I thought I'd lend a hand. Thanks as always to The Gollicking members, Mimir-ion, Zweefer, RexiconJesse, u/arc_onyx, InfinityCircuit and DeathMcGunz. I've built a lot of cities. I find that its best to categorize.
Arts (Theater, dance, art, music)
Nightlife (Drinking, dancing, sex)
Shopping (Basics and Luxury)
Entertainment (Museum, Library, Zoo, Circus, Auction, Sage)
Sports (Team and Solo, and includes Gambling)
Nautical (Fishing, diving, sailing, yachting)
Here's my personal city encounters lists, slightly altered with worldbuilding details to be more generic and useful. They are yours to take, amend, and discard, with my thanks. There are 6 categories, with 20 entries for each category, giving us 120 encounters. (160 with the comment, below) A d6 and a d20 can dice up a full roster of stuff to do quite quickly. Enjoy!
ARTS (01)
Free outdoor art gallery with paintings, sculpture, food vendors and musicians. A note is passed to the party from a stranger.
A new play from a famous playwright is debuting at the local theater. The party receives an invitation from an anonymous source via a messenger.
A street band is playing raucous tunes outside the party's lodgings and a crowd prevents them from entering. If they persist, they accidentally start a brawl.
A festival is being held in the city and all citizens and visitors are required to attend and pay fealty to the city's ruler. During the parade an explosion destroys some buildings and kills nearly 100 people. The party is very close to the blast and sees a hooded figure fleeing via rooftop.
A local busker who always recites bad elven poetry is found one morning turned to stone.
A band of mimes have come to the city to perform a series of comedy shows. One of the mimes is a Doppleganger and is here to assassinate one of the party's allies.
A dance troupe, known for their public and surprise appearances (a "flashmob"), starts a performance in and around the party in the street. During the performance one of the dancers lunges at one of the party members and whispers, "Help me" in their ear, before carrying on with the spectacle.
A mysterious sculpture garden has "sprouted" in a main city street, seemingly grown from the very ground itself. All of the figures are depictions of body horror and some spectators have been driven mad or died after looking at them for too long.
Artist paints caricature portraits of passers-by which come to life at night to cause havoc.
There is a sand castle contest at the local beach. While digging a pit one contestant finds a wooden chest. It is sealed with arcane sigils and very dangerous. Inside is a lifeform.
The party is asked to investigate a local art gallery as the last known location of a model that has disappeared. The party finds extremely life like statues of various people, missing model included, and discovers the sculptor is a Maedar, with a pet Basilisk, trying to replicate his dead mate (a Medusa).
The party is invited to a studio for free painting lessons. The paint fumes trigger a spell that sends the party into a collective Dream. They must find their way out and defeat the Artist-Wizard and his pet Nothic before they are bled dry (to fuel a hideous ritual).
An audience-participation theater-event is occurring in one of the parks, and the party is encouraged to join, and are asked to put on some simple costumes. Upon doing so, they are swapped with hidden Clones, who continue the performance, while the party is teleported to an underground prison full of holding cells. There are dozens of other trapped citizens there.
A new popular song is all the rage and being sung by drunken bravos and university students alike. The song has a 10% to transfer an audio-parasite, that will drive the singer mad and ultimately into a catatonic state over the course of 7 days. During this time they will be compelled to sing the “hook” over and over, in the hopes of infecting any nearby listeners.
A master tattooist has set up a temporary shop on the fringes of the city. For a hefty fee, the customer will receive an exquisite piece of personal art, and on full moons, the tattoo will be able to sense the presence of magic, poisons, disease, or creature types (DMs choice). The master will leave after 24 hours, never to be seen again and the tattoo will fade completely after 30 days.
An artist is painting landscapes on the street. She says she’ll paint any place the customer desires. For a fee, she can make the painting a one-time portal to that place. The portals always go to the wrong location (this is discovered after travel has occurred).
A local homeless man, who mimes for money along the Promenade and in the Park, suddenly finds his invisible walls and pretend ropes are real. Passersby run into invisible walls of force left behind by him, people are dragged to him by his invisible rope, and he now hides in a corner of the park, afraid he will hurt others with this newfound power. The local Telekinesis Guild (bunch of filthy impostors and con artists, mostly) are furious that he has what they secretly do not, and has put a bounty on him, paid upon live delivery to their guild house.
A local street band is performing the show of their life and the music has become magical. Any Bards present will be able to “draw” 1-3 new spells from the performance. All others will be Blessed for the next 48 hours.
An artist has set up a crude telescope, pointing at the ground. For a small fee, you can look through the telescope and see a miniature world, full of tiny blue humanoids in a stone-age environment. The telescope is enchanted with a very detailed Major Illusion spell that allows the humanoids to be seen, and is also Cursed to drive the viewer mad by causing them to see the tiny blue humanoids everywhere they go. The curse will begin 24 hours after using the telescope and will persist for 30 days or until the victim goes mad, or dies. The Curse will manifest the humanoids as watching, then menacing, then threatening, then murderous.
Some Elven sculptors have set up a “Century Garden” - plinths of stone overhung by apparatus with funnels in different angles and locations that drip acids onto the stone - slowly forming the final form of the artists vision. The artist is selling tickets (valid in 100 years) to attend the ceremony.
NIGHTLIFE (02)
A local tavern is showcasing a new lager and a spruiker is on the streets handing out "1/2 off" coupons to passersby. The party is given "2 free drinks" coupons on purpose by the NPC. A stranger is waiting inside that wants to talk to the party.
A dance club, on a typical night, has been infiltrated by an Avatar of Bacchus and has caused the party to spill into the streets where it has been pulling in passersby. The party is caught up in the crowd.
An exclusive nightclub has opened, membership only. One of the party’s allies goes missing and was last seen there. The club is a coven of Sorcerers and every night they sacrifice a kidnapped customer to try to summon an Eldritch Horror.
A hot club in town is secretly run by vampires. Cover charge is 1 pint of blood. Thralls being thralls, one of them talks, and a Hunter has gotten wind of the nest. The party will see him interrogating a thrall and escalating to torture.
A drunken brawl spills out of a tavern near the party. The fight is brutal, involving makeshift weapons and ends up overtaking the party. If they do not flee, during the fracas the party notices that one of the brawlers is biting his opponents and swallowing the flesh. If they do flee, they hear the next day that a pile of half-eaten bodies was discovered in the aftermath. A new zombie-master has come to town.
While out drinking, the party sees a Silver Elf enter the tavern, and time slows to 50% of its current speed for all but the party and Elf, who remain at 100%. The Elf asks the party if they would like to play a game of chess. If they say no, the Elf vanishes, and time returns to normal. If they agree they must wager a precious/strong/important memory against the answer to any question. The Elf has an INT modifier of +4 and a +4 proficiency in gaming. Upon the conclusion of the game, the Elf vanishes and time returns to normal. The bar patrons never see the Elf.
While in a tavern, a game of darts among some locals concludes in violence and 2 end up dead. On one of the deceased bodies is a treasure map that leads to a guarded vault in the wilderness.
A particularly virulent STD is going around the brothels. Over the course of 72 hours it turns the afflicted into a receptor for mental dominance from a powerful psion. The “Mind Taker” uses these puppets to rob the afflicted and deliver their valuables to a guarded location. Then the psion drains the puppet of its final mental faculties and stores it as an energy source for later. The bodies are then destroyed using a Rod of Disintegration. One of the party’s allies (or a party member themselves) has come down with a case of “The Threads” (so named for the red lines of infection radiating from the genitalia into the legs and torso.
A dance club has been cursed by a witch to afflict some (30%) of the customers with “Otiluke’s Irresistible Dance”. Some patrons have been dropping dead from it and the club owners are covering it up by secretly burying the bodies in the basement and drugging the witnesses. The party is present for this or one of their allies goes missing.
A man attempting to throw a party so massive he will officially become “the God of Partying” wants the players to help him throw an absolute rager. If they help, he will remember them fondly when he reaches godhood. The party could overrun the region/city.
The party finds a club throwing a rager in the party’s honor. All night, people toast the party members, dance with them, and celebrate. No one in the party has to pay for drinks. The next day, the party gets the bill for everyone's drinks. The tavern was told the event was for the party and would be paid for by them as well.
A new fad in the high-end taverns of the city, catering to young noblemen with too much money and not enough sense, is a drink called The Kiss. One part grain alcohol, one part pufferfish venom - a shot of this causes hallucinations and numbness, in addition to more than the usual drunkenness. Two young men, heirs to fortunes and titles in the court, have died in the last two nights. Word is they drank too many of these. The noble families want blood, and put bounties on all known bartenders serving This Kiss. The guard don’t want a riot on their hands if they interfere with the Mixologist’s Guild, the most powerful multinational trade guild in the world. A representative from the Crown has summoned the party, to discreetly investigate the explosive situation.
A group of drunks stumble towards the party and push through/past them. During this, the party will each be subject to a Pickpocket attempt (+8 Sleight of Hand). If discovered, the “drunks” are a pack of rogues who “own” this territory. If challenged, they will flee and return with a number of Thugs equal to the number of party members.
A grifter comes up to the party and bets that they can guess “where you got your boots/shoes”. The answer is “on your feet” (where the footwear currently is). The grifter will demand a small amount of cash after this, and will become hostile if denied or hassled.
An avatar of Bacchus/Dionysus appears in the area and begins a Revel. Those who hear the music or see the dancing/drinking must save vs Wisdom (DC 20) or join in. The Revel will last for 72-96 hours and leave partygoers with 3 levels of Exhaustion (and be many miles from where it started).
A Dwarven “thrashgnome” band is throwing an impromptu concert on the roof of a local tavern. The noise is deafening and a large brawl will erupt after awhile - during the fracas an object will find itself at the feet of one of the party members. It is a powerful Fetish that was stolen from a Witch (who has been seeking it, and is nearby).
The party enters a tavern to discover their money is “no good” and they are suddenly crowned “Lager Kings/Queens” for the night, and feted and welcomed by each individual tavern patron. The party will, as the sun rises, be poisoned by the insinuative poison that was in each successive drink, and if they fail a Con check vs a high DC, they will be magically Sleep’ed and find themselves strapped to a basement altar for a hatchling Gold Dragon to feed upon. If they succeed on the check, they are very ill and considered Incapacitated for the next 24 hours.
A new tavern has appeared in the area, and will vanish after the night’s festivities to appear in a random location in the world the next night. The tavern patrons are all Fey, and this is the “Wandering Druid Pub”.
A dealer is handing out “free tokes” of a new narcotic. The narcotic is powerful and hallucinatory, but harmless otherwise, except for the addiction rate, which is near 100%. A Con check vs a high DC is required. If failed, the user must take the drug again in the next 24 hours or suffer 2 levels of Fatigue. Every day without the drug thereafter confers another level of Fatigue. If the check is passed, they will become violently nauseous every time they take the drug again.
A group of Gnomish Brewmasters have set up a tasting booth on the street and are giving out free samples of “Old Brown Mare” - a powerful stout that has a tiny side effect - 10% of the imbibers are shrunk to Gnomish height for 24 hours.
(OPTIONAL) - A cadre of bound Incubi and Succubi have escaped from a brothel and are desperately seeking an escape from the area. They will make any deal possible to make this happen.
SHOPPING (03)
While looking for weapons, a party member "accidentally" activates a sentient weapon, who declares the party member as "master" and demands to know what has happened since it was "put to sleep".
While shopping, one or more of the party members is pickpocketed by a young kid who is part of an "urchin gang". This gang is an arm of one of the more powerful rogue guilds in the city.
A street vendor is selling “gag gifts”, guaranteed to ensure the perfect prank. All the objects are cursed, and the vendor reveals this as if they were joking, as part of the shtick.
Upon purchasing a normal mundane item, it is found to be hollow, with an unknown substance hidden inside of it. If left undiscovered, the person who sold it will try to get the item back, by negotiation or violence, it depends on the party’s willingness to part with it.
A certain type of plush toy is all the rage in this city, and the party will acquire one upon their next purchase - all the merchants were paid to distribute these as “customer incentives.” The toys act as scrying focus for the local thieves guild. The party’s lodgings will be robbed within 24 hours obtaining the toy.
An extraordinary amount of the richer folk of the town have gathered on the plaza. Gregory’s Golden Garments has arrived back in town from one of his far-off trading junkets. He brings the most exclusive textiles and materials to town, and the auction has started (dragon-skins, silk, etc.). During the auction, someone purchases a rare bolt of material and the party finds it in their room later, with instructions to hide it. If they don’t, a group of Assassins come looking for it. If they do, they will be contacted by a mysterious agent who asks them to transport it far away for a hefty fee.
An Annual Food Festival kicks off with much fanfare. However, someone has poisoned the foodstuffs and half the city is sick with nausea and other vile emissions. The organisers, afraid to lose their heads, have set a hefty bounty for finding the culprit(s), and one of these pamphlets is pushed on the party.
While shopping for weapons, a woman approaches the party and asks them to sell a weapon for her, as she cannot. She explains that the weapon is Cursed and will not allow itself to be sold by the owner. If the party agrees, she looks visible relieved and hands the item over. Now the weapon belongs to the party member who took it (and it cannot be sold). The item is a -1 weapon.
A small purse keeps whispering at a player for them to buy it. It remains silent when others are observing it and refuses to talk if it thinks anyone else can hear it. It says it can help them (count money, hide it from pickpockets, and offer insight) if they give it something in return (it wants costly gemstones).
Every store and restaurant the party enters seems to be run by the same person. If confronted, they laugh and say they “get that all the time”, but will profess ignorance otherwise. The merchants are all Dopplegangers and today is their “Day of Pranks”. If two merchants are forced together, they will become violent and the others will run out to join them.
The party finds a flyer shoved under their lodging’s door that promises “75% off all Adventuring Gear” at a local merchant. The merchant is very chatty and inquisitive and will press the party for information about where they are going next. The merchant then sells this information to a gang of rogues who will follow the party and attempt to rob them as they exit the dungeon.
While shopping for clothes, a party member hears a weeping noise. No one around seems to be crying, so if this is investigated, the member finds a top hat that seems to be the source. If the hat is put on, the party member is Cursed with a particularly nasty form of melancholia.
The next time an item of clothing is purchased, the party member discovers that it has a large “Pocket Dimension” concealed within its folds. There is an object already inside the pocket.
A beautiful man/woman approaches the lowest CHA party member and offers to make their “dreams come true” if they will sell their soul. The man/woman will cast a real Wish on behalf of the party member (which works without the usual DM fuckery, but will expire in 1 year, and a group of Devils will appear to collect the player’s soul). If refused, the man/woman will leave, but if confronted, they will flee. The man/woman is a mortal humanoid who simply shills for a Crossroads Devil.
While shopping for arrows/projectiles, the merchant offers the party a “one-time deal” of some special projectiles that are “guaranteed to strike their target every time” and will demonstrate this quality in a shooting lane set up in the back of the shop. The projectile will work as promised within the shop itself, without limit, but outside the shop, the first 3 only will work as promised and the rest will automatically fail-to-hit. If confronted later, the shopkeeper will claim ignorance and claim the party member is lying (even going so far as to call the Watch for harassment).
The city is having a 50% sale, city-wide, for the next 24 hours. Rogues know this too, and are everywhere, preying on the crowds, or following them home to be robbed later.
While shopping for provisions, the merchant says they are looking for “exotic meat hunters”, and will pay top prices for “anything unusual” without limit, provided the meat is delivered dressed.
A new confectionery store has opened and is giving away free samples in the streets. The sweets are mildly intoxicating, and have the added side-effect of making those who eat them very amorous for the next 8 hours. The owners are clerics of the Deity of Love.
An arsonist is burning down merchant shops, by “category”. The perpetrator is a failed businessperson themselves, and is merely seeking revenge. The first things burned are the weapon and armor shops.
While shopping for armor, the merchant offers to show the party a “special selection” of exotic armor. These are all very unusual and very expensive. This is a one-time offer that will never be repeated and if confronted, the merchant will claim ignorance as to the existence of the exotic armors, and if the shop is searched, they are nowhere to be found.
ENTERTAINMENT (04)
The party receives an anonymous gift of entry passes to an exclusive and private club in the city. At the club, the party is approached by cultists who attempt to persuade the party into joining.
The museum is showcasing some rare artifacts. While visiting, the party is present during the brazen theft of one of the objects - an item of unique and dangerous powers.
Zoo animals have escaped and are menacing the population!
A local sage sends an urgent message to the party about a matter of great importance. The sage, a bit senile, has gotten mixed up and this is not the group he was supposed to contact. He does not realize this and treats the party as if they were hired to retrieve a book from an old, guarded crypt. If the party refuses, the Sage will eventually be foolish enough to try it himself and the party will hear about his death.
A public estate sale of one of the city’s wealthiest families is announced. The prices are high, but the quality equally impressive. In the announcement is an object that the party or one of the party members has been looking for. If they attend the sale, they discover the price is three times higher than they can afford (even after pooling money or getting a loan). The security is strong but not impossible...
The museum is showcasing the preserved remains of a long-dead monster race as part of a traveling exhibition. During a tour, or at night when closed, the monsters are revived by an interested party, and they go on a murderous spree. They attack either the party (along with many others) or one of the party’s allies.
A series of foreign street magicians has entered town and perform solo acts all over town. One of them is near the party, and they need a volunteer for a (permanent) disappearing act.
A street corner storyteller is spinning a tale of adventure and peril to a crowd. The tale sounds suspiciously like the last adventure the party had.
While eating, the party sees a puppet show happening nearby. They find it (magically) difficult to avert their eyes from the felt performers and can see figures moving out of the corners of their eyes. These are Oblique Golems, and can only move when not being viewed. The golems will attempt to rob anyone nearby. The puppets are just puppets.
An Escape Room boasts a valuable prize for any group who can escape/solve the room before the hourglass fills. Several of the puzzles in the escape room align runes and involve magic words of power. If the party manages to complete the room, they complete the spell, finding a portal now open above the building. Demons pour from it into the town, and it cannot be closed for at least 24 hours.
Some fire-jugglers are performing in the street, and they appear to be using magic to create illusionary figures that leap from the burning torches. These are actually Mephits, and the fire-jugglers did not summon them, they appeared on their own. They run off to cause havoc and burn as much of the city as they can.
A local casino is offering big prizes to “Spin the Wheel” - with only a 5% chance of winning, this is mostly a scam, but those who play are Wizard-Marked to be robbed later. The prizes for actually winning are 4-figures.
A pig-racing track has been cordoned off - turning the streets into the racecourse. All are welcome to enter, and whoever wins is offered a lucrative contract joining the “Hog Ridin’ Circuit” - a racing tournament involving half-a-dozen cities and some very shady dealings.
A masked spruiker hands the party an ornately engraved thin metal plaque inviting them to an exclusive event at a place called “The Garden”, and a map is etched on the reverse side. The event, if attended, presents the party with an opportunity to travel to another plane and earn the favor of a powerful, if enigmatic figure.
A group of acrobats are performing feats and stunts in the street. During the performance, one of the party members sees the face of one of the tumblers momentarily change into something monstrous.
A pair of dueling Illusionists is staging an elaborate mock-battle in a nearby park, but neglected to inform anyone of this beforehand and have caused a panic.
A tour group suddenly appears and engulfs the party. The guide is pointing out places where famous adventurers have died, and suddenly points right where the party is standing and begins discussing them as if they were not there! The tour group can not be interacted with (as they are projections from the future) and soon quickly departs and vanishes around a corner.
A street lottery is being held by a local neighborhood social group. The cost is low and any tickets purchased are said to go towards upgrading the local park. There is a 50% that the party wins a modest prize of home-baked goods. The locals will send a message to the party later that their tickets were fraudulent and demand a return of the prize or the equivalent value in currency. This “lottery” is a common scam run in the area on obvious tourists.
During an previous-announced free concert by some famous Bards, a bomb explodes.
A street comedian is inadvertently casting “Tasha’s Hideous Laughter” on audience members. The phenomenon is soon discovered and the comedian flees. Later, he is found dead and covered in a thin slime.
SPORTS (05)
The party receives an anonymous gift of tickets to a local sporting match. If they attend, they are approached by an NPC who says they represent a "person who wishes to remain nameless, but desires to procure your services in a delicate, and potentially dangerous matter."
The party is invited by a local ally to attend a boxing match. At the match both fighters are killed by a powerful assassin who works in secret for a local politician.
The party attends a game of skill and is accused of bribing a ref to throw the game by a rogue (who did actually rig the fight, but now has been caught and is desperate). A few of his crew will back him up and some of the crowd sides with them.
A marathon race has been scheduled to wind through the city as part of a larger season of racing. A number of famous people and some talented locals will participate. During the race, several of the runners suddenly collapse and begin coughing blood. This is the start of a disease outbreak, and will, without precautions, infect over half the city in only 72 hours. The source is magical in nature, and part of a larger scheme to cripple the city by a secret faction.
A bare-knuckle street match has been set up by an enterprising rogue/wizard. A series of ringers are inviting all-comers to challenge for a fat purse. Those who fight are wizard-marked, and followed later, to be kidnapped and bound for a fighting-arena in the Underdark.
An illegal horse race, infamous in the city for causing multiple deaths every year, is about to commence once again. The street the party currently finds themselves in will turn into the aftermath of a battlefield within several seconds. The race has no rules and is heavily wagered upon by the criminal elements of the city.
A “Circus Maximus” involving blood-sport, animal fighting, and a “nautical spectacle” is going to be held at the city’s largest stadium. The public is allowed to sign up to fight in one of the 3 events. The purse for winning is generous (5 figures) and is, of course, rigged and being carefully watched by the strongest Rogues Guild in the city, who stand to make a pile of money. If the party participates, they will see that some of their opponents have been enchanted with speed and strength.
An annual Guards Competition is about to commence. They are divided into 4 teams, and the locals have lifelong and fierce loyalties
In one quarter is an annual event - the Endurance Drinking Contest. A group of competitors take a shot, perform a task, take a shot, perform a different task, repeat. The winner gets a trophy, their portrait on the wall of winners, and bragging rights. The tasks range from silly to nearly impossible.
A mounted race is about to commence, and the party runs into a thick crowd along the edges of the route. If the party chooses to stay to watch, they will see one of the riders being assassinated from a position high above the streets by a mage’s spell.
A traveling ball-team is looking for a manager and some bodyguards, and one of the party’s allies has recommended the party, as a joke. The team shows up where the party is to conduct an interview.
A boxing match has resulted in a death and the angry and bewildered crowd has spilled out into the streets in a terrible brawl, hurting bystanders and destroying property. If the body is examined, 3 small holes in the back of the dead boxer’s neck can be found and 3 small projectiles found inside the wound. The trail leads to a mage’s henchman.
Illegal cart-racing has been taking place at night among the city’s youth and an ally of the party is terribly worried about their child’s possible-participation. The racing will soon claim lives.
The Dozens has arrived in the city - a nationwide, very famous content of insults and put-downs. The entry fee is to survive a round-robin of burns during The Throwdown, where hundreds will enter. The prize is bragging rights, a 4-figure cash prize, and the chance to defend their title next year.
An ally of the party has entered a marathon footrace. During the race, the ally disappears.
A Fishing Derby, the 1st of 3 contests each year, is being held by any who wish to pay the modest entry fee. There is only one rule - you cannot use a traditional rod/reel, fly, or net/seine to catch the fish. The Derby draws the inventive and the mad, and lasts over 3 days.
A professional team of Goliath and Dwarven “Chicken Fighters” arrive at the city for an exhibition match in the city’s swimming pool. One of the Goliath recognizes a party member (whether the members also remembers them, or not) and offers free tickets. During the match, one of the Dwarves is hurt, and after a flurry of rules-consultations, its determined that a substitute is allowed. The party is looked at by the Goliath and asked for help.
A ping-pong match is being staged between Royal cousins, to settle a dispute. The match is going to be public, and during it, both Royals disappear and are replaced with monkeys. Uproar ensues.
The party finds out there is an underground avian-fighting event happening below the tavern. When they go to investigate, they find a goose and a rooster on opposite sides of a metal chess board pushing the pieces around randomly. A ref resets illegal moves and pulls captured pieces from the board. The crowd roars wildly, screaming for their bird to win the game. The party is approached by a grifter who says he knows who’s going to win and will sell the info. The grifter’s prediction will prove right 2 times, then wrong the 3rd time.
An illegal blood-sport fighting match has caused the death of a local celebrity and the party has been framed for the murder.
NAUTICAL (06)
A local ally invites the party on a fishing trip. While on the trip, the vessel is attacked by a desperate band of Kuo-Toa, who appear to be diseased and attack with a more-than-usual savage aggression.
The city is holding a yachting regatta and the party is present when one of the ships catches fire. Many accusations are bandied about and most seem to blame one of the city’s administrators who had a grudge.
A seasonal storm rushes over the city does significant (and costly) damage to the local fleets (and any ships the party might have moored here). Trade and travel is stalled and only a hefty bribe and some forceful diplomacy can secure any movement needs that the party might have.
A local mad-wizard-inventor is launching a submarine and has asked for volunteer pilots and crew. If the party accepts, they are attacked by a great white shark. If they do not, the sub is sunk by the shark. The mad-wizard will try again next month with a new design. If the shark has been killed, this version will find a sunken treasure worth a king’s fortune.
The party is invited to a beach party by an ally. While there, a number of party-goers find themselves suddenly growing gills and webbed feet and toes and a strong urge to enter the ocean. They have been drugged by a Sahuagin Sorcerer, who is trying to build an “amphibious army” to attack the town and destroy it.
A large number of Brachia (Crab-Folk) have surfaced in the bay and are attempting to communicate via the Dream spell (which will manifest as the entire town committing suicide, and this will be dreamed en-masse by the locals). This dream is not a threat, but a warning of what will happen if the townsfolk don’t rid themselves of a recently-acquired magic item (by the party themselves, or by another adventuring group). They have 72 hours to unravel the mystery.
A number of Were-Sharks are attacking swimmers at night (mostly kids/young adults out partying on the beach). These therianthropes are not aware of their actions, but know something is wrong. While shape-changed, they work as a team, like wolves.
While passing a street they encounter a group of semi-drunken sailors. The sailors start a brawl with the party, for their fun. When magic or weapons are used things will get nasty as the sailors will pull shivs, long knives, chains, and cudgels.
Something has turned the ocean red and fish are dying in great numbers.
A large statue that could be worth a lot is trapped in a cavern in the water. If the party can retrieve it without additional help, they can claim it as their own, sell it, and keep all of the profits. If they enlist any help, the local authorities will take over the operation and claim the statue for themselves.
During a sailboat race, a school of merfolk begin harassing and destroying the boats.
A group of traveling sailors try to sell famous and popular books, paintings, and equipment to the party at a great price. Upon closer inspection, the items appear to be forgeries.
A seadragon is heading for the coast, but rumor has it she will slumber if told a bedtime story. In order for her to hear it, the party must intercept her and shout the story from aboard a ship. But it better be a good story.
An ocean water spirit wants to visit a fellow spirit friend who is further inland. They will make a path over land of water they can travel through. The party can try to convince the spirit to follow their path and plot a nondestructive course, or they can try to stop the spirit from visiting their friend through force.
For three days, no one has been able to catch a fish with a hook and line. Nothing even bites, something just cuts the lines before any fish can bite.
Tidal Wave!
A local surfer has gone missing and only his surfboard is found on the beach, covered in a black slime. Days later, his head (missing the eyes) washes ashore.
An Aboleth has awoken in the bay and starts calling minions to serve it. Some of them are townsfolk, and possibly the Mayor as well.
A waterspout threatens the docked ships in the harbor. It is not a natural occurrence.
A pack of Scrag (Sea Trolls) have started plucking beachcombers from the shoreline.
The story of BS and corruption... Long post / may give you cancer -
TL;DR :– · Me and why I was banned · IWISK · EVE CASINO · CCP Security · Tinfoil · Shit Spelling
Dear Fellow Space Nerds,
For months I have been debating if I should write this piece and I warn you now it is long, I have written this and discarded it several times on the basis that it will just come across as a bitch or a whine. But as you may now tell I have left it long enough for many to not care, so this story will just be that, a story of bad spelling, bad punctuation and the worst grammar you have ever seen. But it is my story and I have decided to just tell it as the question “I thought you was banned” needed a point of reference I could send people to. Now I get you will be suspicious but I am telling it as I see it, and if you read all of this then bravo indeed! :) Before we begin let me just say that the whole banning of gambling mechanisms from a video game I do support and that is my stance on it. It may just be for fun but does it hold a place in a sandbox from an external point of view, the answer is no and should be every time. However it can be incredibly innocent for the 99% that participate, it is however the 1% who may have been personally affected by the ability to gamble using IRL money via the forms of plex codes. My issue which you will read here, is how it was handled and how I was treated rather than the morals of gambling. This story begins at the start of 2016. Between the dates of the 6th and 9th of January, approx 14 Bankers in IWISK was banned for suspected RMT. This was only several days after CCP Peligro (who will be referenced allot in this piece) had announced on Twitter that he was back to work. CCP Peligro has been a subject much recently on reddit and other channels (discord / IRC etc) and I figured I would give my experience with him and CCP as a whole. Now some devs from CCP are reading this and those who I have linked this too will agree with much that is written here. Now the claims that the banning of IWISK bankers was due to SMA etc informing CCP Security of the 1 Dollar to 1 Billion isk that IWISK was selling, these were called Batts or batteries.. I know what you are thinking, why would CCP believe such an incredible story that 1 Billion equated to 1 USD... Now CCP Peligro was off on Christmas break when these emails were sent to [email protected] mailbox. Well the simple truth is that they actually did! Team Security took this as an opportunity to jump on the IWISK RMT train which they failed to execute back in mid 2015 with the whole iwisk URL blacklisting from the in game browser. Now why would Team security hate IWISK? The answer is really simple and can be summed in a few bullet points :
Several complaints over IWISK RMT which on reddit we saw around 20 threads claiming to have damning evidence but was never shared with anyone...
Bankers actually had been caught prior to the ban wave (I think 2 but we shal say 3 for the sake of argument)
IWISK is a blind spot for Security
So the complaints speak for themselves however the bankers who had actually been caught prior to this are simply the reaction of an individual acting alone. Some CCP Security caught and some we had emailed CCP Security of suspicious activity who had later been perma banned. And lastly the blind spot... This for any organisation regardless of being a gaming company, this is just an almost impossible scenario to police and should never have been allowed to operate. But the fact is that it was and as such this was their own creation of a black zone. This black zone had existed for almost 7 years+ with 3rd partying websites. The actual Blackzone has technically always existed since the API was allowed for public use. Now keep in mind this is not just IWISK related as ANY other gambling or website that allowed transactions to take place "legitimately" through a 3rd party site is a risk. The reason IWISK was such a risk was because literally hundreds of trillions flowed through it. IWISK could easily transact up to or approx 50 to an incredible 100 Trillion a month just by the master wallet alone! (may have been less but at its peak it really hit these numbers) So IWISK was a massive risk to Security from an RMT perspective, and anyone could claim RMT, and to be fair to those who did, we could not prove that it was not happening. And I will explain why this is the case… IWISK had a quick deposit method that allowed bankers to process isk by copying the transaction from the wallet into a field on the bankers backend. This allowed said banker to give the customer their virtual isk on the site within 8 seconds of sending the isk to IWISK Corp. This made us very popular as there was very limited wait times to gamble with your iskies. However this system could be abused right? I simply could just copy a transaction from the wallet and wallah, I have given myself 1 bajjilion isk right... Yes this indeed is the scenario... IWISK or EEP mitigated this risk by adding a collateral to the bankers account. So if a bankers collateral was 10 billion, he could only quick deposit for players up to 10 billion isk. When the API ran after 30 minutes, these would be matched against the players transaction from the master wallet and the banker would be given his collateral back on the site. So what the hell does that all mean.. well it means that a banker could amass profits as a banker and they could use those profits to RMT with. So If the banker had 20 Billion in his collateral wallet, the banker could sell 10 Billion to a player by just tweaking the transaction to their name, thus creating a fake wallet deposit in the database. The API runs and it will not match the in game wallet, and thus the banker is now down 10 Billion but you have "gifted" a player 10 billion isk to do what they want with. So yes there was a loop hole in IWISK that allowed people to do this, but it was policed when discovered and this was one of the ways we caught people who thought they were smarter than the admins running IWISK or CCP security. I genuinely believed these bankers thought we could not catch them and that we would not shop them to CCP --- They were wrong.. --- I would often receive emails from players stating they just bought isk from xyz site and they got a iwisk email saying they had funds. So my response which can be verified by Security was always to inform CCP and if I catch who it was I would do the same. So this is where it got a bit hard to navigate, I would often look at the person delivering the isk and be like "really this fucking guy is RMT'ing....". So when probed the banker denied it and I could not help but believe him. However I now had the issue of trying to work out who and how.. So this is really how the above loophole was discovered and the watching began to see who and how.. I never said or told people that we were watching them, simply just mailed everyone saying, if you are RMT’ing and using IWISK as a front we can identify you and you will be caught. Again this can be verified by CCP or a banker who kept these mails… We caught several bankers and details were sent to CCP and policing of that was now a task. So back on track to the banning of the Bankers Jan 2016. After a month or so CCP un-banned all those involved. Except for one person “R00gle” who was in MC at the time. Now R00gle to this day denies any involvement in RMT and even went to FanFest to hang out with his buddies from MC. CCP Spoke to him and said they would look back into it, but they never did get in touch with him. Having now known R00gle for many years, If asked the question did he? I would say no every time and he was a scape goat for CCP Security to claim they got "their" guy from the ban wave in Jan. Remember that CCP Security only answers to very few people in CCP and that would be Hilmar, and maybe Andie or Ned? IDK exactly who but this would be a reasonable assumption and really just speculation from other posts and channels I have poked around in. So on that basis, any communication directed at CCP Security is never going to give you a response, because CCP Security do not discuss with end client or in very rare cases they may, but not to the value add of the end user, and simply close your ticket with a no response. This you can find on Reddit hundreds of times and this is how they operate. This should come to many of you as no surprise regardless how shit the service is. The so what to all that is, CCP Security hated IWISK from day one. Not just for the reasons above but also because they got told to let it go the first time around (mid 2015) and the second time around (Jan 2016). Most reading this will know about where CCP Burgtarist was open at FanFest and said he was over ruled and if he had his way everyone would have remained banned. Now some numbers, because we all love numbers and spreadsheets! But sadly I do not have graphs... I could make one but then I would be just trying to buy the super nerds approval using graph pron! This is the contribution of IWISK over 12 months to the RMT issue. So you can speculate that CCP Security spent hundreds of hours of no doubt, evidence gathering and data analysis which I know CCP Quant had to do. I am sure trying to map all that isk was a nightmare and the promo codes must have made it impossible to determine isk in vs isk out.. CCP released a figure stating that on average every day they ban 50 accounts for RMT or other activities etc... Now this same figure I have seen across reddit on a few occasions and I have used this number on occasion to make a point, and I believe it has comes from the 2014 FF video archive. If the figure is wrong let me know and I will recount my abbicus and update appropriately. But I think when you see the result the amount they ban per day will not change the outcome too much. EDIT: Some facts for you... 2012 to 2013 30,202 Account banned total. So 50 Accounts banned daily over 1 year
50*365= 18,250 accounts.
IWISK accounts perma banned within 12 months = 4 people Jan 2016 to Jan 2017
IWISK Contribution to the RMT problem
0.022%
Not suggesting that RMT is justified and belittling the issue at all, but numbers speak for themselves and the issue was tiny by comparison to what actually takes place in Eve if at all IWISK was RMT'ing. Now if you check these websites that are selling ISK and have feedback sections, you will see that they are still selling and moving the same amounts of isk. Soooo no sudden dip in ISK being RMT'd to the "black market"??? Think about that just for a minute and ponder if IWISK was such a massive RMT operation why has banning it had no effect on the 3rd party ISK Black Market? Smells like bullshit right... So before I even get to what happened in Octoer 2016.. Several more points on RMT in Eve. It happens all the time and it is happening in alliances or inter corp constantly. Supers & Titans are being sold for RL $$'s all the time and accounts. CCP Tickets to FF / Vegas are being sold for isk along with Plane tickets / hotels and beer money.. Yes those going to Fanfest this year, there will be a few who have paid corp mates isk to fund their trip and hotel stays because they have soo much isk and some people have swag amounts of RL $$’s. I know many that have done this and even many CCP dev's know who these people are. This was discussed at a player meet on several occasions late last year. However this is not challenged or tackled because literally who gives a F, certainly the Devs attending did not give a F. Hell I tried to buy a nice duder at FF but he refused to take my money and insisted he bought me the beer. So instead I said jokingly how about a plex as I will end up owing you? He said that is one cheap plex, but no you do not have to do that... Now some would have said hey, I buy beer and you gib plex K?... Little did he know that because he refused me spending my own money and just wanted to buy me a beer out of principle and in his own words "you have done a lot for many", when I got back to the UK @ home I sent him 20 plex's! Made me warm and fuzzy just for his reaction as he was gobsmacked. ♥ So If I am guilty here it is accepting a beer and paying 20 plex’s for the pleasure \0/ then yesh I deserve the banning. kek So now we spin on to September 2016. Me and Eep had a few disagreements over several years and now looking back it was over trivial stuff and I decided that If I had stayed in IWISK our relationship would have devolved further. This being our friendship of 3 years was coming to an end and it genuinely made me sad and disappointed with myself. Regardless of what you may think of Eep or the way he reacts from time to time, he is a good guy and he takes way more flak than is deserved. He is down on his luck most of the time. He struggled with money and lived on very little, despite what you all thought, he was not rolling around in RL money living the dream, but sadly living month to month on most occasions and having to borrow money (which he repaid back to people). And I hope Gonz does not mind me saying that, but I just wanted to put it into context and disperse any ideas that he was rivalling yacht sizes with Mittens… If you really knew Gonz, you would know he had no money and if he had been RMT'ing then he would have been rich by comparison. So I decided one day that enough was enough and if I stayed in IWISK one more day I would flip my sheet and my relationship with Gonz would be perma damaged. So I left to join Eve Casino who welcomed me along for their launch of a new casino that worked completely different to any of the others currently open. Now I did act badly here and I do regret my abuse of the in game mailing list IWISK had, I advertised me leaving IWISK and promoting a new Casino. As the Face of IWISK (streaming and Media) I tried to justify it as a bit of tongue and cheek on my way out, but it was a douche move. I figured Eep would take it two ways, badly or a challenge to step up IWISK 2.0 asap. Not one that I am proud of... But even after all that me and Eep have remained friends and we still talk from time to time. Some things are more important than space pixels, and I am happy to report he is doing ok and better off now than he was prior to IWISK being banned from EVE. The site is still thriving and makes more $$$$’s than it ever has. So I am now with this new group ECAS / Eve Casino. The doors are closed for internal testing only and the website was pretty damn good I must say. I will not go too deep on ECAS as there really is not much to say, but the website was functioning but only to a point as it was only half finished, not ready for release. The planned release date was the week of Eve Vegas and much work was needed to get it finished. So with that in mind that Eve Casino was not open to the public and not a single isk was moved through ECAS, the owner was banned along with myself Lenny and Eep. Here is the list of why's :
Lenny – RMT.
IronBank - Section 2.1 EULA Offence.
Eep - EULA Offence / not sure as never saw it and cannot find reference.
Adarics ECAS - EULA Breach of Development License.
Now Eve Casino was banned because they had used the Crest API for the login to the site as part of the "Evil Network" SSO. This included EOC TV and a few other tools that was being developed. The Crest API was not used for anything else other than the player to login and this was approved by CCP for use. Adarics had spoken with several developers who had given him the greenlight to use it as it was not being used to handle wallet information or any other part of the player. But CCP security banned him for said use. So now we have a classic situation of Part A of the org not talking to Part B. When this was produced to CCP Security they just closed the ticket and ignored him. And yes you got it, CCP Peligro. So again even with Adarics doing everything by the book, asking for permission and clearing everything prior to deploying it or using it, CCP still screwed him over, or should I say CCP Security. Now it is my understanding that he took this information to Falcon who basically dismissed him and said it did not matter as the case was closed. Now Falcon was A) not interested or B) Cant do anything... Now you might be thinking wait there must be more to this than what Iron is telling us... Nope that is it, and the so what to that.. Around 12 bankers who were helping test the website which had not transacted a single isk and was closed to the public had all their wallets reset to zero, and Adarics was banned for a first time infraction of a rule that had no effect on the game as the casino was closed even though he had a green light from the Developers. To this day Adaric is still banned and all those bankers who joined ECAS never got their isk back. They had done nothing wrong, not a single isk moved around, not involved in any of the coding, and CCP just took trillions of isk from these players. Soo, abuse of Power you might say? Guess who did this >>> CCP Peligro Mr Team Security. Next we move back to IWISK.. Lenny and EEP banned for the reasons above and the rest of the bankers had their isk stripped. So again bankers in IWISK who may have been or may not have been involved in RMT was stripped of their isk and that was that. CCP took between 25 and 30 Trillion isk from both of these orgs and claimed a victory over RMT. Now it is not hard to fathom that a lot of isk was purchased with plex. I often was intrigued if people had been playing with Plex to fund their activities on IWISK, as to me this was fascinating. Take away the human part that people may have been spiralling out of control, this can be said not just for IWISK but for EOH EVE Bet and the "others" who probably had small amounts of traffic but nothing worth boasting :P (still getting those jabs in). I do not like to reference competition as it seems like a cheap shot, but as these are now all dead, it no longer matters to a degree… But yeah the point here is that all that isk taken which no doubt the players had purchased via EVE or Markee etc has disappeared.. Not even some sent to Plex 4 Good or used to reimburse players who had their stuff stolen in game etc.. CCP talk about an isk imbalance when they restore Items from stolen looted accounts, well they have a huge sink to use. But I guess this was taken and written off as profit rather than use what they took. Whenever people think of RMT or gambling in Eve they will always pick the most known target. One because the most popular and two because law of averages state that yes it probably exists at some point. However this can exist across all of the casino's, but given the most popular will always be the focal point, you are always going to be under suspicion. An example of RMT existing outside of IWISK I want to share with you is a guy we caught from Germany, who was trying to use IWISK to funnel money to another player. He was using the raffle system buying 50% tickets with player 1 and using a 2nd account on another machine connected via a VPN to mask himself from us and CCP. His 2nd account would purchase the other 50% of tickets. So he was washing his isk. Yes IWISK was taking a cut as the house would normally regardless, but unknowingly being abused by some tard or tards. I asked this guy if he used any other ways of doing this... With a bit of poking he finally opened up and said he had access to alliance funds and also a corp accounts in B0T. Not B0T holding itself ofc but some renter corps within B0t... This allowed him to funnel isk into these corp accounts and the use of these funds to build supers etc which he then 3rd partied to make RL money. This seemed like an obvious way to funnel isk and I asked him how he never got caught. His response was CCP are not clever enough or lack the resources to catch him... I was a little surprised by this but I wanted more info on this guy. I was trying to catch him out by getting any info I could, but all avenues lead me to around 50 iP's which bounced all over the world across 7 or 8 VPN services which are easily obtained online & his hardware ID's were changing all the time. This guy was the master or RMT and seemingly from what he was claiming (because that is what it is just a claim) and I wanted to know more, hell who would not be curious. So I asked him if he had ever used any other websites to facilitate washing isk or doing RMT trades. He said the best one was using EOH Poker (Sorry guys). He said that all he had to do was set up a Head to Head and just lose to the person he was selling to... Or use 2 accounts of his and wash the money across 20 accounts over a 3 month or 6 month period of which none could be connected to Physical hardware or software ID tagging. He told me he would biomass on mass accounts, and some accounts he has had for years without being banned by Team Security. So he in private could wash isk very easily via playing poker in sealed rooms. Thus utilizing EOH's system to wash isk very easily with little to no risk of another player sniping raffles from him. I could see his point and he said that he would only use IWISK for certain methods of washing or selling isk, but he would not tell me anymore, he felt spooked by a few people dropping in and out of the channel. Once really confident talking to us then suddenly not so much. So this encounter certainly opened my eyes on how these guys were abusing sites to do these trades and he was boasting of hundreds of thousands of Euros in profit from this. This ultimately changed how I looked for patterns in the database. For example looking for players who go head to head on raffles of a value higher than x and then expanding this to a large date range to see how long this was going on for. To be honest it was hard to figure out who was who and if it was chance or just normal activity.. So I thought I knew or had the silver bullet in identifying anyone abusing the system, but reality was, I am now more confused over the data set than ever. So that aside, that was September done and dusted and I have now moved over to EVE Casino. Hopefully I have given a decent overview of the before the final banning and demonstrated that RMT was happening everywhere, but because IWISK was the most prominent focal point of the gambling scene in EVE, it had become the centre of all RMT claims, even though every system could be manipulated regardless of reputation. So October the 12th and the ban wave and EULA changes announced by CCP. https://community.eveonline.com/news/dev-blogs/end-user-license-agreement-changes-coming-with-eve-online-ascension/ I am working night shifts and had been for a few days at this point. I woke up to hundreds of messages and tweets, skype, irc everything… I laid in bed and was like sigh this again!!! So I get out of bed, put on my slippas and go to the kitchen whilst reading all of the messages and a cluster barrage of confusion. I make a cup of tea (Earl Grey to be precise + 2 sugars dash of milk) and make my way to my PC. I was not worried as this had happened several times before and I have never been banned in 12 or 13 years. To be honest at that point I assumed it was just a IWISK the website had been blacklisted and all gambling was to cease, but to my genuine surprise, my account had been banned also. When attempting to login I got the classic “Banned pending investigation, CCP Peligro”… I laughed out loud at first and then tried every account I owned. All 30 of them but alas to no avail. So I started checking my emails and literally as I opened my client, the email popped in.. It was from guess who, you got it – CCP Peligro
CCP Peligro (EVE Online) Oct 12, 15:22 UTC Hi, This mail is sent to inform you that your EVE Online accounts have permanently banned, in light of EULA violations. Specifically, you were found to be using your accounts "XYZ" and "XYZ1" for business purposes, in violation of the EULA, Section 2.A. Your continued access to the System and license to play the Game is subject to proper conduct. Without limiting CCP's rights to control the Game environment, and the conduct of the players within that environment, CCP prohibits the following practices that CCP has determined detract from the overall user experience of the users playing the Game. 2.A "Accounts may not be used for business purposes. Access to the System and playing EVE is intended for your personal entertainment, enjoyment and recreation, and not for corporate, business, commercial or income-seeking activities. Business entities and anyone who is acting for or on behalf of a business or for business purposes may not establish an Account, access the System or play EVE. Accessing the System or using the Game for commercial, business or income-seeking purposes is strictly prohibited."
So I opened TS3 and those from IWISK was now back on my TS3 server and I started to understand what the damage was, and it was everyone, it was a swift attack from young Mr CCP Peligro. So I noticed that a Petition had already been opened on my behalf by CCP, no doubt just for their tracking. So I responded saying “I have never RMT’d so I do not understand my ban”. Then as I sit there I read the email again, it was not for RMT as I had assumed... Because it came from CCP Peligro my assumption was that it must be ISK related as that is what he does right. But to my surprise it was no mention of RMT in my petition like Lenny’s. Now I had not spoken to Lenny at this point due to the TZ difference, but the guys on TS3 said his specifically stated RMT, yet mine was for a Section 2.A… So I jumped on IRC and started asking questions with some Devs at CCP, they said if it was not RMT then it should not have come from CCP Peligro, it should have come from another person at CCP. I cannot remember who the Dev is who handles violating of Section 2 of the EULA but we know that it is not CCP Peligro. So now I am confused as this info is coming from Devs and then a few days later I noticed that Nosy Gamer was talking about the same thing. (If anyone finds out who the Dev at CCP should have been let me know and I will update this to keep this accurate.) So I respond to my petition basically saying, sorry I misread the petition, but I do not understand how I broke this section of the EULA. Can you explain to me what I did wrong… But the classic silence now dawned upon this petition and not a single response. Few weeks later the petition is closed and not a single response nor explanation or even guidance on why and how to avoid going forward, just simply nothing. I spoke with Falcon and we had traded a few emails. Not to go into them too much but the bottom line was that Security had concluded their investigation and as such the matter was closed. Nobody can do anything at CCP as the decision is theirs. So no point except to maybe appeal to Internal Affairs at CCP. I did wait a while before doing this, & Not a single response. The one good thing about going to Player events is you can meet Devs that you know or have never met. Meet people you have never met and share experiences. Even though I was super angry about what happened, I pulled up my big boy pants and put a smile on my face. I think because of my demeanour about the whole thing being happy go lucky and care free, nearly all the devs would speak openly with me about what had happened over a few shots and a giggle. Not giving too much away, but it did give away a few things that I was trying to understand. Why had I been banned as the reason given made no sense. So take the email from CCP stating that my accounts had been banned for the reason “income seeking or for business” – Now given I know this is not RMT related as it would just say RMT and you are perma banned from EVE. Yet I am still allowed to play subject to proper conduct right? So it is not RMT as that is clear cut and nor should it be. The only road I can go down is “Twitch” and the “Game Show” I was pixel space famous for. So I would ask these Devs when intoxicated, was I banned for the reason because of what I was doing on Twitch? The same response, sorry I cannot tell you but a smile & a wink was enough for me to know that I was on the right path. Why all this effort and having to read between the lines, simple really, nobody at CCP would discuss any of this with me. Because they were kept out of the loop or those involved were told specifically not to discuss this with anyone at CCP or external. Drunk CCP best CCP :) However not all employees will toe the line, so yes some expressed their disgust to me and apologised for their company & colleagues behaviours and some of the CSM contacted me saying they were appalled by this, and no I am not referring to Bobmon but “others”. It was comforting to know that despite the public flogging CCP gave me, people were still ready to call out CCP’s BS. So now Its November and I kinda have a better understanding of the reason I was banned for. So I stream on Twitch like many others and the assumption from CCP or more specifically is that my channel is a cash grab based on massive amounts of ISK I have amassed from IWISK. (This was a comment made to me by a member of CCP GM's) Now if you spent like 5 minutes in my channel like most critiques have in the past. You assume that I am trying to get subs and donations for the isk being given away. This could not have been further from the truth and if you have read this far congratulations… The channel operated like this… If you are a subscriber you got “Iron” or points for every month that you were subscribed. So if you had been subbed for 1 month you got 500 Iron, and on month 2 you got 500 + 2000 for being 2 months, 3 months 500 + 3000 etc etc… So the longer you are subbed the more points or “Iron” you got and this is known on Twitch as a loyalty system. You also got points for being idle in channel or being in channel when I was streaming. Now if you are not subscribed you got no points at all, simply none as points are used to play in game channel games “roulette or Bank robbing” or entering Subscriber only giveaways / requesting songs etc. These giveaways were for Plex’s or other things which you could redeem via your EVE account management page. I purchased these codes from Markee Dragons store or Greenman Gaming (Approved ETC or PLEX code retailers) and the money to buy these codes came from the sub’s money that I got from Twitch every month. So I have been accused of Income seeking by CCP, and the reason I find this so ludicrous is that it was no secret of how this model operated. Hell every stream I would announce these code giveaways are only for subs because the subs effectively paid for them. And at this point I think nobody at CCP involved in my banning knew this, because they simply did not do their homework. I would love to be proven wrong, but that would require someone from CCP actually talking to me. The other giveaways that was done on the channel follow’s CCP rules that everyone must have the same chance regardless of subscription type. This I followed to the letter and back story, I even asked for this to be made as a policy for streamers. The rules also state that this is for “in game items only” and Fozzie even reinforced that on Mittani’s Twitch channel days after this policy was released. He said if it is for anything out of game then do what you want with it, which reinforced the CCP policy on Streaming. So I followed the rules to the letter and others on Twitch were still not following these rules… But hey I did not care as everyone has their own path to follow and if CCP really gave a hoot they would step in. I am no internet police vigilantly and I do not stoop to the same levels like DBRB for example. Yes DBRB I know what you tried to do and it failed. Anyway back on track.. A little bit into the world of me and why income seeking is just utter nonsense.. I work as an IT Contractor and earn good money. Or at least I think it is good money. Approx 300 GBP a day or 380 USD a day not inc bonus etc. Not going to be a billionaire in RL, but enough to not worry financially about a mortgage or nice cars holidays etc. So here is a rough example of what I got from Twitch every month and how those funds were spent. Sometimes it was less around 500 but it varied and at one point was as high as 720… This is puny compared to the likes of Zarvox etc but he does it full time and deserves every penny!
depending on how many subs I have, and this does not even include the cost of Electricity / Hardware failures or equipment purchases to improve the stream. If I was to break it down further into that. But as these additional's I have not included are for personal enjoyment as well and I cannot or won’t include them. as it would be wrong to do so. Also any paypal money left over in paypal get's spent at the end of the Year on a Christmas and New Years special Stream. I buy as many codes as I can to give away (2015 Christmas I spent over 1100 USD on codes alone). So I run my channel almost non profit or at least as best I could. And yes I take money for Beer and Nachos cuz Beer and Nachoz amright? So I was banned for making around 200 USD a month and some change because… NOPE NOPE NOPE I do not get it also. Other streamers make more $$$’s than me easy in the Eve Category, but yep you got it, it was all they could use to ban me. Literally they used a BS excuse to ban me from the game and publicly flog me. So yes I got F’d over royally because some fuck wit child in CCP Security had a grudge to settle. That is truly how I feelz about this and it is disgusting. If any of my staff members behaved like this, they would be out immediately without warning. And I know I am not alone when it comes to complaints about Peligro and his conduct… To add insult to injury he even followed me on Twitter about 2 weeks prior to nuking my account, I guess he wanted my tears… http://i.imgur.com/MtAxI0Y.png But the funny part is, as soon as I mentioned and saw this connection I emailed CCP about his behaviour and that day he un-followed me on Twitter. Bad taste indeed sir. Now I had tried to reach out and extend my hand with Peligro, as he followed me on Twitter prior to the first ban wave in Jan 2016. I used to feed him info on suspected people or anything else that I thought may have been an issue. See image and you will notice the dates.. http://i.imgur.com/bxATAfX.png << But as you can see I was trying every avenue to get these sec people to engage. Around June he stopped following me, so I took that as a sign that CCP Security wanted nothing to do with me or to aid in catching RMT'ers. I have also emailed and raised petitions of bankers & players who I thought were dodgy. And I also captured one of the bankers via Reddit who I know got banned. That was a good day for Reddit on the anti RMT front! Now there is the whole unassailable wealth thing.. This made my literally laugh out loud. For a start I know more people in Eve who are station traders and combined have more isk than IWISK bankers / IWISK in general. They could have funded the war against Mittens all by themselves as a small group. Station traders in major hubs selling and buying firesales or hunting forums for cheap BPO deals and reselling them etc also have unassailable wealth. The hypocrisy that it is unfair because you cannot target these people and casino’s are generally untouchable… Well if you know station trading or have half a fucking clue about this game and enough capital, you can literally steer the market in your favour. And I do believe a trader recently and a few other have been banned and they are still banned. Guess who is investigating them… CCP Peligro @ CCP – I am disappointed with you that you even listened to the dear complaints of the overlord Mittani, But I do expect you to Nerf Market trading so you can be killed and have your stuff taken from you, or would it be better Mittens to write a letter of complaint to Ned? Sigh… Lastly I was debating and have been for the last 15 minutes whether to put this in or not but I will add these last few bits as conjecture and you make up your own mind. But all of the above is my story and I have no reason to BS. You can see it is open and honest. I have tried not to misty any part of the above except the bit with my email trades with Falcon as it contained some personal parts of my life when I was in the forces / Hospital. But I hope at the very least you can see that not everything is as it seems. If you control the evidence that is received and you want a group or x people out of the game, you can make any evidence tell the story you want. Forget what you think about me or IWISK etc, just think about it for a while.
[Tinfoil-zone]
· Mittani is RL friends with Peligro and he is / was a Goonswarm Member… · Head of internal affairs left after this all happened. · Head of CCP Security left after this all happened.
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